Should have posted sunday

Morning lovely people of the web. I Dont think anyone other then 3 or 4 people actually read this but hey . If they do then here ya go. I had been planning since saterday to write this blog. Was planning it for sunday but my lovely hubby bear let me sleep in then we watched a couple of episodes of Prison Break then I had to go to work.



Ive realized why I miss being home at nights. Its the little moments I miss . The ones you can always look back on and smile . Seeing this picture makes me think of this point.

Work is going good. Very tired but its nice to be out and about again. And plus today is my very first pay day from my new job. I know its not going to make me a millionair but hey . Its one step closer to getting debt taken care of and being better off. Im going in for 10 hours today because for about 2 hours of it were having this saftey thingy that I have to go to . Hubby bears coming home early for it and everything.

I got a nice lil surprise saterday. For the past couple months ive been on a new path with trying to form a new bond with my father. And so far so good. I think it will work better that were both adults instead of me a child and not really caring about family. My friends use to be my family. I guess it happends to everyone. When your a kid all you want to do is get as far away from your family as possiable but when you age alittle and become more awear of everything thats when you really want your family. Ok maybe not everyone but everyone I know this has happend to. So maybe this time will be much much better then all the other times weve tried.

Well I got a nice lil treat saterday befor I had to get ready for work. We were just chilling out ... Me being tired like always will do that to us. When Hubby bear went outside to do something and found a package on the porch. My dad had sent me a lil care pakage from home. I guess he heard it in my voice how much I miss Texas. So I got some goodies .

I Really enjoyed getting this stuff.Its nice to get lil things from home. Even if it makes me miss it even more. But I dont think I would like the heat right about now. There was also a magnet and card that was not shown. Dad if your reading this I want to say thank you . And I do plan on calling but was going to wait till sunday. If your not reading this . Then I guess Ill talk to you on sunday lol .

Nothing to exciting

Nothings really been going on lately for me to jump right on to blogger and post about. Getting back into the swing of working 50 hour weeks . Im not liking this only having one day off things but for now its whats gotta get done. Maybe when I get a couple bills caught up and have alittle more free money then I will leave the part time job I have to be able to have two days off with my family.

Even thought my alli has worked for me in the past right now it dosnt seem to want to help. But I cant really put the blame on those lil blue pills. With me being so tired I havnt really been up to counting fat and calories. So I havnt really been sticking to my diet. But once I start bringing in money from both jobs. I plan on doing nutrisystem. Ive always heard great things about them and me and hubby bear have been looking into them. For 300 a month I get everything I will need to eat. Only thing that will come outta pocket is drinks. And seeing thats about how much we spend on me to eat anyways. ( figure it this way. 4 people in this family and we usally spend anywhere between 800-1000 on foodshoping a month ) So Ill keep you up to date on how everythings going. Maybe put a count down on here or something.

Something strangly cool happend yesterday . You all know how I went back to work for the same company I worked at a couple years ago. Well one of my normal customers ( No Im not a stripper of escort or anything of the sorts) Found me on myspace. He says hes tried finding me befor with no luck. I will deff have my gaurd up for awhile around this . Im torn between this being sweet and I actually made a impact on someone and then theres the strange feeling this is werid and stakerly. I dont need any drama in my life right now. Too tired for it . So for now. The gaurd is fully in place but If hes being sincer and just wanted to find someone that was always nice to him then it will slowly come down. Not sure what to make of it yet.

Today is my grandfathers birthday . I am not sure if he will read this or not but I wanted to tell you grandpa that We all love you and hope you have a great birthday. Your card is on its way. I just had to wait to get stamps. I love you sooooo much . Miss you even more.

Simple Rambles

Well after a break( Work ) from everything and some well needed sleep. I am finally seeing things clearly lol. I think that I just had a bad mixture of no sleep and trying to adapt to what my life is now going to be like. About a year and half ago my hubby bear convienced me to quit my job to become a Stay At Home Momma. With very little effort might I add. I knew I would miss the cash flow . Even as little as it was . But the idea of being home with my family and being a stable parent for my son was something I was rather looking forward to . But in the last couple months moneys been getting tighter and tighter and hubby bear more stressed and working even harder. In America right now there is no way for a family of four to live off one paycheck, Get credit back on track and handle all out bills without going B.R. I know going BankR. is nothing to be ashamed of if it comes to that. I have even had a member of my own family do it to better their familys lives. And for that I will never look down on them. Or any others unless they are just trying to cheat the system. But with me not working , You would naturally think that I should go to work . Which I was fairly eager to do.. With a little shove from my oh so loving hubby bear. I will be the first to admit that it will trully be nice to have an extra paycheck coming into this house hold. The idea of not having to ask hubby bear for 5 dollars and have to explain what its for is something really nice. Not saying that hubby bear dosnt give me anything I want or need it will just be nice not to have to ask someone else. So now I am a fulltime+ employee. This is bittersweet. Yes. I am going to enjoy working the almost 50 hours a week and being able to get our credit taken care of along with the oh so missed friend that I like to foundly rememeber as cable. But with this oh so great opp of being able to have this job in this oconomy is the fact that, Once again, I am going to miss out of so much. I know this is something every parant deals with. But dangit this is my blog I have the right to mope right along with the right to beam with pride and love. Get use to it . I think that if I was working mornings and home at night I would be fine . But with my son the way he is , I would not trade him for the world, he is not able to go to normal all day Kindergarden and so for most of the time he is forced....Lucky to be stuck at home. So with no sitter the only option is for my butt to work the shift opp of hubby bear . Which sadly only leaves me 2nd shift. so for a woman who has been getting 7+ hours a sleep a night for the past oh almost 2 years , Shifting to 4 hours is going to be hard.

There really was a point to this blog but for one reason or another it has turned into a detailed reason as to why you will probly be seeing some drunkeness post for awhile. I promise I will work extra hard to get use to this. I think with the help of a new coffee maker I will be better off.
I am still thinking about starting up an extra blog. I am pretty set on it but just not sure how to start it . But I will keep this one going for all my long distance family. Who by the way . I love more then words can express and really think we need to plan a family thingy . Even if you are not blood related YOU ARE FAMILY!

Unsure

Today starts the rest of my life. Or so I'm told. Well if thats the case. The rest of my life is going to suck. Ok maybe thats alittle harsh. I do have a great life. A wounderful hubby bear that works his arse off to provide for his family and is willing to give me anything... Even if there is alittle nudging involved. And I have two beautiful children. Even if all they do is fight . And yes I mean always . And A sturdy home that is indeed Our home. I usally trying to always see the good with the bad and vice versa. But today its hard. Maybe its the lack of sleep or the fact my step son has been home erm an Hour and they have yet to stop fighting. Its like I didnt get a freaking break. Once again this is not me stating I do not love my step son. In fact its quite the opps. I love him dearly. But man...... Im thinking of starting up another blog. Ontop of this one. Not like I dont have enought going on right? But this one would be completly private. Like no one but me would know its me writing it. Im sure if someone lookes hard enought they might find it once I create it but thats up to them. I guess it would my own personal Journal where I can have somewhere safe to go and vent without feeling judged. I promise to write everyone another longer blog about what whats been going on. but Ive gotten maybe a grand total of two hours of sleep after working all night and then driving up to CT to get step son and then all the way back home to be able to get to work in a couple hours. Later

Hello wounderful people of internet

Just wanted to stop by and leave a note for any and all people that grace my little area of this whole big thing we call WWW.

Lifes been good I guess. Lil man started the first of three weeks that he will go to his summer classes. It was weird not having either of them here in the middle of summer. But I am still looking forward to the day they are both in school full time. Yesterday he was driving me crazy so the 4 hours he was gone today was a nice break.

I heard back from the woman about the job yesterday. I cleared the criminal background so shes deff bringing me on. I go in thursday to finish all the paperwork and do the computer part of m being hired. Getting this job is a sad blessing. Of course I am thankful to be able to have found a job in the recession and the money will be going to getting all our debt taken care of along with saving for things that the house might need. Oh and the best thing. Cable. Along with the fact I have already worked for this company is a large plus . Things will be alittle diffrent then the way I knew them since this is a new location and manager then the last one I was at. But its still sad in the fact that I trully thought that I would never return to this company or any others like it . Even with that factor the thing that I fear the most is missing out on my family . Im going to see my boys for a couple hours during the week in the mornings then thats it. And of course with me having two jobs I will really only have one day off and that day will be spent running around doing things the house or family needs. I guess it will be a huge balancing act. Weve done it befor and almost lost our relationship in the process. Me and hubby bear have had some hard time along with some great in the past 6 1/2 yrs weve been together. I just fear Im going to miss out on so much with not being around in the afternoons like I have been. But this is something that I have to do. Just a matter of time for us to settle into the way things will be and getting use to them. Ill keep yall up to date about it .

Ive been having really bad head akes on the left side of my head around my temple. My right eye is stronger then my left so time to time my left eye strains to keep up and caused almost migraines . If it dosnt get better soon I might be going and speaking with my doctor but for now Advil is a god send.

Hubby bears on his way home with the next disk of prison break . So Im gonna go call the company about cable instal and talk to yall later.

I've got the golden ticket!!

Yep thats right everyone. I am one lucky lucky woman. For I have such a great family. Live in such a great area and have Tickets to my all time fav band. Creed. *Glows with happiness* Thursday I find out that their coming out with a new cd. Friday bickerd with Hubby bear about if their going to have a tour. Sat morning I find out that they are having a tour. Saterday lunch time. I am the proud owner of GREAT seats for their Aug 9th show. Yep yep. I know Im lucky. And very very loved. Thank you hubby bear. I know you are only going because of me and I promise to repay the fav. One way or another.

I was going to try to get the family to go to something that in my eyes is something everyone should do if they live or are traveling around here. About 30 mins from where I live is a town I will refer to as East. From the steps of the old Court House the Declaration of Independence was read on July 8, 1776. Every year they relive this. I was really thinking about going but I am not good with crowds so for this year. Instead we took Lil man out to his first ever Mini golf game . We did not keep score but he did really well. You would think it would be him who got his tiny freaking balls in the water. But no. Sadly. It was the parents. ME and HUBBY BEAR! lol But it was fun all around.

Lil man is trully missing his older brother Cpt.KIA which is still with bio mom untill this sunday. And the way I know this from a child that trully does not speak other then a few short words here and there? He curls up with his blanket and plays there. Of course we all miss Cpt.KIA but I am glad for this break. Now if only I could get a spa day for myself and get away from all three of my very much loved men. Would just be nice to have a day around women. But I love my family so I would probly just be hurring to get it done to return home.

I havnt heard from the woman about the job yet. Im hoping she just didnt want to call during the weekend and will call tomorrow or tuesday. I could really use the money for many reasons.
Guess Ill leave yall for the night. Im gonna go check out HULU.com and see if I have any new shows taged. Nite

great day all around

So here I am . After a night of pretty much me and hubby bear snipping at each other . We had a great day today . Im doing something nice for Bio mom out of the goodness of my heart. Because I know if I was in her shoes I would love it if she did this for me. From one mother to another this is a gift. But yea this morning I was doing pretty much getting this gift together for her untill I sall that it was time to get ready for my Interview. Got ready and went after Hubby bear got home. It went really good. She pretty much said shes bringing me on to try and after my criminal background clears and shows Im not a complete loser Ill be back into the world as we know it as Full time Employed. Yippee !!! But *Knock on wood* seeing as I dont really have anything other then petty debt I dont see a problem. Came home and watched Push with hubby bear then took lil man out to our community pool while hubby bear had to do some running around. I saddly fear that out of the many things my son has inherited from me. Love for swimming is not one of them. He hates getting in the water. And it wasnt like the water was cold or anything. So yea seems right now till he gets use to it my lil family will be chillin out in the kiddie pool. No biggie . I can sit and he plays. As long as he dosnt get wet above the waste hes all good. Came home and hubby bear grilled some grub for us and so kindly went to the store even when the food was done and got rolls when we realized we had used all of them. Then settled down on the couch watched Knowing and talked to Cpt.KIA when he called . I know this is the most exciting thing in the world but this was a great day . And I fear with me going back to work full time ops of hubby bears work days like today are going to a end. At least till the boys are both full time in school and I can work days. Oh and one of the best things about today. I found out my all time fav band who had broken up a couple years ago are coming out with a brand new Cd this fall. Yep thats right people . Creed is coming out with a new cd called Full circle. Anyone want to buy it for me? We can call it a early xmas gift. I promise Ill repay the favor???

Congrats goes out to my momma. While her company is going trew some tuff times and saddly some familys are going to be going trew a really rough time here my great momma has gotten a Great Promotion. And just when she was ready to walk. Just proves that if your going trew hell just keep going.

Hi ho Hi ho its off to summer we go

Well Well Well... Looks like I havnt really been too talkitive. Maybe thats because so much has been going on. Maybe just the fact I havnt been in the mood to talk lately. Last week it seems all weve been doing is preparing for this past weekend. Preparing my stepson. Cpt.KIA . to go stay with "Daddys friend L" or as I would like to call her from now on Bio Mom. I have strong feelings towards her. Yes. I know I still need to sit down and write it all out but yea just havnt really been up to it yet. Guess when this trial run ends and everything goes back to normal I will do it. Trust me your not missing anything too exciting just something I should get out there for the world to know and then move on. Well on the 27th me and hubby bear went to a concert that we bought tickets to about 6 months ago. Ok me growing up in Texas. Well simply put. I am huge into country music. Gotta stick to my roots ya'll . Hehe I still got it. But this was a concert we simply could not pass up on. Kenny Chestney. Montgomery Gentry. Sugarland. Miranda lambert. And lady Antabella. Hows that for a line up? lol Well saddly we were not able to get to watch the full show. When we got there it was clear many many people had be there since the wee hours tailgating . So by 4 pm when the show started . Everyone was wasted that had been to the bigol parking lot party. yea. We got trew 3 of the 5 shows and then it seemed like it was time for everyone to get into it. Yea. With everyone fighting around us and beer flowing freely it was time to leave. It was still a great time.
Nana had the boys for the night as to planed and since it was going to be late by the time we got back she let us keep the night off. Thankies Nana. So we went out and watched 'Hangover' It was a good movie. Anyone whos had a hangover in their life will be able to relate to this movie. The rest of the week was kinda a blur. I realized monday that Cpt.KIA has a lazy eye. So we got him in asap and by wensday night he was wearing glasses that look like Magnifing glasses. Not only does he have the lazy eye he has really bad near sighted ness. Thank god we dont live 30 years ago when he would have had to wear those HUGE ugly black glasses. Tell me he dosnt look cute in them. He loves them.
Friday we drove up to CT. Let me tell you something. Driving trew any big city traffic brings me close to panic attacks. No Lie. And with the way my hubby bear likes to drive. Well yea. the 4 hour drive up there to take Cpt.KIA to bio moms house SUCKED! Thats all Ill say about the drive. Fianlly we got there and stayed for about an hour and let him get use to her. I think he was more then ready for us to leave and him be the center of attention for two whole weeks. If the visit goes good . Well be having a sit down talk with him . Ill keep you up to date on that. On the way home we were going to stop at this little burger place. Its suppose to be the home of the very first hamburger ever made. yea well since this is basiclly a family based place They took off for the holiday weekend. I couldnt help but laught. Both hubby bear and myself were pretty upset but on our trip up there were going to call and make sure their going to be open lol. Saterday was a great day. We all pretty much slept in . Which was really nice . but finally got our lazy butts outta bed and off to Sesame place we went. Ok if anyone has kids and ever near philly pa. Take your kids there. They have a great place. And its not just for the kids. Grown ups can ride to . But since we paid we got a two for one so when Cpt.KIA comes back and we have the money up for his ticket were going to go back. We pretty much only did the water rides and then went back for pictures. So well do all the dry rides next time. Lil man loved seeing the few characters that we did see.

Heading out we were all pretty done with the sun. We headed up to Beckys Drive Inn. Yes we are lucky enought to live an hour from new york. 30 mins from philly. hour from Sesame place. And 30-40 mins from a drive inn. We live in a great place. *Take note of this. Youll never hear me speak of anywhere by texas like this* Well John loved it. We watched Ice Age 3. And Xmen Wolverne . We had a great day.

Of course by sunday all we wanted to do was lay down. I got burnt up pretty good saterday . But hopefully it will turn into a nice tan. Hubby bears back to work today. It seems alittle werid without him but its nice for everything to get back to normal. I dont know if you remember me talking about me trying to get a job with the same company I worked for , For almost 2 years about a year ago? Well the lady called me today and Thursday I have an interview. Think its really just for paperwork since Ive heard trew the grapevine that they seem to always be hiring because no one wants to stay their. Well thats good for me because that happend at the last one I worked in. Hopefully it will go good. I will update everyone thursday or late friday on how it goes. Friday I work at the kitchen and then saterday were taking Lil man to his first ever mini golfing or to the crayola factory. Yes we have one 40 mins from our house lol . I know I know Im lucky to live in a great place. EVEN IF ITS NOT TEXAS. Think were going to do the golfing and then go to C.F. when Cpt.KIA comes back. Lil mans first week of summer classes will be on the 13th and then the weekend after that we go back to pick up Cpt.KIA. Maybe I can talk nana into keeping her oh so adorable grandson for a couple hours the saterday befor we go back up there so mommy and daddy can go see a movie? But i promise to try to keep everyone more up to date.

Kisses from our lil man to you.