Hmph

I dont get it.... How can I be so tired but yet SOOOO awake all at the same time? Seems alittle strange to me but to hell with it. It gives me a chance to so some over needed bloging.

Past week has week just like any other. I did finally speak with my boss from the part time job. I pretty much told her I would most likely not be back but would keep intouch with her incase things changed down the road. In the back of my mind knowing damn well . That wont be happening.

I havnt been feeling the greatest this past week. I dont know what it is but my body was just not feeling up to par. Side note. What on gods green earth does up to par mean? I only say it because its been said so many times around me its just kinda stuck with me. I could understand up to perfect or something like that but isnt Par something regarding to golfing?

Yes, I was born a blond.

SILENCE!!!! I KILL YOU!!!!

Cpt.KIA's First foot ball game was cancled due to Crappy weather the night befor leaving the feild ... Unusable. To say the least. And I was not really up for sittin in the drizzle for how ever long it would have been. But I would have to support him. Sadly they reset the date to wensday and of course .... Ill be at work. Thats ok. Hubby bear will take lots of pictures for me.

Ok another reason Im glad that it got cancled. I know its sad to say but because of no game me and hubby bear were kindly able to go to the tattoo and pircing show I wanted to go to. Thanks momma for watching the boys for us. I got this new tattoo, And even thought theres a couple Itty Bitty Tiny little things Im gonna change when the times right... I love it . The meaning behind it and who its for. I might post a picture of it but all but one of my tattoos are just mine. And I like this but I love this one so much I just might have to . And plus its not like itll never be in any pics of me. It is on my shoulder for goodness shake.

My next day off were finally , after 7 months of living here, going to get all the junk outta my living room and into the shed. HAHA I wont have a clue what to do with the huge empty space in the room. SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe Love you hubby bear.

Ok so maybe I should get some sleep. But how do you get sleep when your mind and half your body is fully awake and just part of you is tired. I know that if I dont got to bed soon ill be crabby tomorrow. And I have a couple things planed for the morning.... not sure what they are yet but yea. Know I want to do somethign other then vedge on the couch.

Otay you lovely people out there. think Im gonna go .

UNCLE DAVID!!??!! love you and thank you for the lovely comments. Still waiting for my paiting. Think I should get two now. One for the living room one for my bedroom??? Huh what do you think?

Its all the same

Ok So maybe Im listening to a song right now but it pretty much explains my life. Not too much has changed since the last time I have written. Friday night I pretty much had , had it with being married trew texting. So much that I told hubby bear I didnt want to do it anymore. Thankfully we took the time and discussed the issues and know that its not what either of us want but infact something were willing to work on even more. So going into work Friday I knew it would be my last day . I knew that I am not able to be wounder woman. Working two jobs and making my family and marriage work. Its not possiable. I mean yes if I Had to then of course I would. With no protest on my side. But Im bringing in enought money with my full time job to cover all of the bills that I have taken on since starting back into the work force.

So I am sadly waiting untill I put the boys down for " Relaxation time " befor I can and give her the bad news. I hate doing things like this. I hate quiting from anything but I know when enought is enought of one thing that I have to step away. I know what situation this is going to leave her in but her having to find someone to cover my shifts untill she gets someone new is alot simpler then more issues in my personal life. It still sucks But what else can I do?

So Im starting something new. Im gonna start netrisystem. I have never been tiny. Ever. That was something Ive always delt with" Being the bigger friend" I was fine with that because even thought I ate what I wanted I was always doing something when I was younger. From Walking everywhere to swiming and skating. I was hardly home as a teen and I think my parents enjoyed this. Of course there were times I was home and didnt want to do anything but common. Thats everyone. But now that Im older and have children and work full time I never really have the time to do things like that. Not to mention I have a car and my son hates anybig pools of water . A fact Im hoping to change in the near future. So in result of this I have not really been able to lost the weight that I have (Fought all the way ) gained. From Joinging Gyms, Taking diet pills such as alli and Acai. To crash dieting. I lost quite a bit about a year ago. I loved the way I felt then once we moved into our own place it slowly sneaked back. Then I was left woundering what the best route would be. So I tried somethings once more to have no results at all. Think my bodys trying to tell me it will do almost everything once but not again. This is my last chance befor something drastic must be done. I know Im not healthy like this. Im awear of this along with how I hate looking in the mirror. I feel like its someone else looking back at me. That is one of the worst feelings when you look in the mirror and you know the person you are is traped under something else. So Im doing this for me . To make me healiter. I am praying to god it helps. Even if I dont get to my goal weight Im hoping I lost some of this extra skin that has formed my outter layer. Everyone keep me in your prayers please. And Ill keep everyone up to date.

Howdy

I really need to get better at writing more often. But with me working so much . By the mornings all I want to do is check my emails and then curl up on the couch. I need to get more active and start doing more things. So Hopefully Ill stick to my new plan. I doubt it but its a nice thought right? Go to bed right after I get home. Wake up early get alittle cleaning done then computer and then do some walking while I watch my shows. Like I said, I dont see me getting it done every day . But its at least a plan.

Work has been going good. I have made up my mind what Im going to do about my parttime job( 1 day a week ) Maybe today or next week Im going to talk to the lady and tell her that Ill stay on till she can find someone new but Im gonna have to quit. With both hubby bear and myself working 6 sometimes 7 days a week and only seeing each other for 3 mins in passing its really starting to put a strain on my marriage and family. I know its only 1 extra day off but its something we need. My marriage is WAY more important to me then a job that only pays me less then 100 for two weeks. I hope shell understand.

Hey everyone do me a huge one. Scroll down and see that little add thingy .... Click on it. Youll help me get a pay check without having to do anything more then going to look at a site. Please???????

See im not to proud to beg.

Im gonna start working on a new music player. Ive noticed theres so much new music that I want to have on there but never have the time to do it . So Ill probly do a couple songs a day untill its finished.

Im really excited about something. I just sall last night a preview for a movie coming out thats based on one of my fav books. And yes I am talking about New moon but thats not the one I sall last night . This one is called Lovely Bones. And yes its been made into a movie. I cannot wait to see it .

Next saterday is CPT.KIA's First football game. Its pretty exciting Hes really enjoying football but he had to get moved to the the brand new starts. The beginigers. Which is fine because with him never having played befor and with him being small for his age it was just the better fit. I had off last monday so I was able to go to the practice. And I trully believe this team is better for him because it helps him understand how to play alittle more.

After the game Im gonna try to go to this huge Tattoo & pircing show thats happening. Maybe get me a new tattoo. Not sure yet. But its something I am really hoping to get to go to. Just depends what time the games over and if we can find someone to watch the boys. Because I would really like to take hubby bear so he can finally get to see what its like to get a tattoo and push him into getting one hopefully soon. Guess will see.

Hubby bears been very sweet . He knows how stressed weve both been and how never seeing each other was really starting to get to me. Ok ill be honest. Having a marriage trew texting SUCKS! And I dont know what to do about it at this point. But he brought me subway at dinner last night and then when I got home there were beautiful roses waiting for me and my fav candy mike and ikes and he says theres still one more thing but I have yet to find it .

Alrighty yall think its time for me to get my lil ones some lunch and work on this music player alittle bit. See yall soon

GO CLICK ON THE AD!!!!!!


PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What can I say????

I know I know its been awhile. Well a week anyways . Last sunday was kinda hectic. almost right after I posted my last one got here the cable guy got here. I think of him as a twin to Mr.Clean. Cutie but yea . Cutie or not Im married. I can look just no touchy touchy. But I had to leave right after Hubby bear got home and headed down to my 2nd fav place to get clothes( My 1st is too far to just go on a spur of the moment thing) Went and got some jeans. I only had one pair that fit really good but the pattern didnt go with pretty much anything I had. So I guess now you can say Im back down to 1 . Im gonna try going again ASAP because they have a sale right now buy one get one for $10. So yea gift ideas for me family HINT HINT gift cards to Debs or Torrid. Torrid if possible. New , trendy , clothes would be great to help with this weight that Im slowly putting back off. Guess that happends when I work almost every day and really only eat at most 2 meals.

After that trip to the mall I headed over to holiday hair and got a deep conditioner .... Man I needed it . I felt so relaxed untill I had to leave and sall it had started to rain. Yet Again. So hurryed home to the wounderful sounds of Cable. Man oh man. I think who ever invinted the DVR desirves to be a millioniar. Its the greatest , ok one of the greatest , things in the world. I record all the stuff I want to watch and watch it in the mornings and its like Im watching it live. Yep Yep . Ive been spending most of my time catching up on my shows.

Headed out to Hershey for the concert. Lets us say 20 mins after we left it started to pour. And the concert was outside. Yea so we get to hershey and its still raining like cats and dogs so we agree to go somewhere other then the concert parking and wait it out. Promply at 6 it ended and we headed over to the site. Find a decent spot and head up to get in the never ending line. only to be turned away because we couldnt take umbelas into the concert. WHAT?!?! We couldnt take it into the site for some unknown reason. yet again we head out to the car and return . Did I mention I was wearing heals??? Findally we get in and get to watch them set up for the concert. cool to watch and the guys next to us were pretty cool. Then the opening act started. and OMG THEY SUCKED . The best song they did was a cover song. We dont even know who they were but hey out of all the crowd they had a grand total of 6 people standing up cheering for them. Think they need to go back to New Zeland or take some tips. When the opening act was over I was starting to get really worried that the concert Ive always wanted to go to would SUCK. But let me tell you this. The seats were great and creed was the best concert Ive ever been to.They put on such a good show its hard to explain. Deff worth the money and DEFF something I would do all over again. Even sit trew the crappy opening band. And thats saying something. Ok I have to give them some credit . They had a good beat and if they would have never said a word they would have been half decent. But common . For creed? they should have had someone better.

I guess you can tell I had a great time with the concert . The rest of the weeks been stressful. CPT.KIA is getting really hard to handle and I can see things changing for my little family in the near future if things dont change. I dont really want to go into it right now but when and if the time comes to talk about it Im sure Ill let yall know . Alrighty everyone I think Im going to surf the web for alittle befor bed. See yall soon

Today is the day

That my dear old friend cable returns to my family. Yep thats right people as I sit here and write to who ever actually reads this I am waiting for what we all have grown so fondly to call, The Cable Guy. Think Jim Carey will show up on my front porch? I do hope so. Wouldnt that be a story to tell. I was alittle worried that because of what seems to be a downpour when I awoke this morning he would not show. But greatly the rain has slowed and it seems all will be ok. At least I hope . So from the hours of 8am-12pm someone over the age of 18 will be quietly awaiting his arrival. Which reminds me I have to go out to the shed and grab one of the tvs. Weve only had one tv in our house for what seemed awhile. But were thinking it might be nice to have one in our room so when we are both home and want to watch 2 diffrent things.... there you go. Were also getting DVR. Which is a god send because with me working nights I wont be home to really watch anything that is on. I thought this was a rip off. I was gonna be paying all this money for something Im never gonna be able to enjoy myself. But greatly with the new device of a DVR I can record and have the family watching something totally diffrent all on the same tv. What a world we live in. Kinda makes me thinks of that Brad Paisley song Welcome to the Future. If you havnt heard it yet. Go to youtube and listen to it.

Well I guess you could say Im alittle nervous for tonight. Today is the day that I get to go see my all time fav band in concert. Now this in itself is not whats making me nervous. Two other things are. like the fact I think its an outdoor concert and its raining and the fact for the last week hubby bears been stressed out about work on of course this means stress between us and so forth weve been *bickering* the past few days. We both know each other loves the other but after 6 1/2 years yea... guess you can say we know what buttons to push when we want to . I know we can get trew anything because we have. But yea think Im more nervous about the rain and outside then anything. Maybe should have hubby bear call and see about that befor we leave. Would suck after all I went trew to get this day off is it got cancled.

Im debating on something. About a month after we moved into our house we removed all the plants from the little garden area and about a month of having nothing I planted sunflower and sweetpea seeds. Ok to say the least. I do not have a green tumb. Never have probly never will. Well when I planted these I figured there would be a couple small plants and it would be easy to take care of. No it seems like over night these huge things took over my garden. To the point you cant see dirt. Veins( which I have no clue where they came from ) are taking over everything. 10 foot sunflowers and leves from plants I didnt even plant are everywhere. We had two sunflower stalks but one was leaning too far over and we couldnt walk on our sidewalk. Guess we could have used the ramp but were not smart like that. Soo hubby bear broke it in half and added it to the pile of unknown that is called our garden. Well now we have the tallest one starting to really lean. I was kinda wanting to see how tall it would get but it dosnt seem like its gonna get any taller. Or shorter. Too take down or let it fall? that is the question.

And yes it is as tall as our house. And if you look carefully. You can see hubby bears new car.
Not the greatest picutre but wanted to show the two diffrent colors the sunflowers are.

wow

What can I say??? Ive been a very tired girl. Working two jobs gives me very little time at home .... Well where Im actually awake. Its clear that lil man is missing me but I think Cpt.KIA enjoys not having me around . Thats ok. Feelings mutial most the time. Dont take that for what it dosnt mean. I love him but its clear already were going to have Major issues in the seeable future.

In the last two weeks Ive had one day off. I get two days off a week from my full time but one of those days goes towards my part time. It sucks but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Right? Its ok. The way is nice . Biweekly im seeing about 700$ which is a crap load more then what I was making befor the jobs. Zilch. So to go from 0-1400 for a month is a great inprovement. If only I didnt have a crap load of debt , Ok not a crap load but a handful , and trying to get into another house , where I had the money just to blow on my kids and hubby bear. Yea a girl can dream.

Im going to the concert sunday . It was a close call. The dates got mixed up at work and I was ment to work on the 9th. I know its silly but I came close to breaking down a couple times that day. A sweet lady I work with has agreed to switch her saterday for my sunday . I had to tell a little white lie to get this day but I dont think the boss would take to kindly to me requesting off weeks into just starting . If it hadnt been for something that was really importnat to me then I would have worked no problem. If this lady wouldnt have agreed I would have still worked just been very upset about the whole thing. I think hubby bear knew how upset I was because the night I found out he showed up at my work with the boys and brought me something to eat. It was just what I needed. Thank you hubby bear. You trully dont know how much that ment to me.

My two year wedding Aniversary is coming up. Man , it still is hard to believe I got married yet alone have been for two years. Of course its in like 3 months but still. I have been engaged lets just say a couple times. (4 I was young and in love aka stupid) But even though I had planed weddings and though about being with one person for the rest of my life. I never thought of myself as being the wifey type. To put it simple . The idea of marriage scared the shit outta me. I had seen way too many people that were close to me that had been married and to me seemed right , fail. I wasnt going to put myself in the chance to be another one. And even trew the last two years hubby bear and myself have fallen appart and back together it seems were finally on the right path. We know whats important to us and have the same goals and are willing to work very hard to get them. I can honestly say that in the start I never sall us ending up here. Of course every girl wants to be "the one" that changes a guy . But this time . I was. And Im very proud of it .

Cpt.KIA's Pee Wee football starts next week. the plan was for me to take him while hubby bear stayed home with lil man but yea . Since Im working like I am that wont be happening. It sucks but I think Cpt.KIA will enjoy having his dad there more then his momma. Now maybe if it was his Momma L. then it would be diffrent. Like I said . We have issues but we do love each other.

Well the boys lost all of their toys. Yes. The only thing remotly close to a toy in their room is sleeping stuffed animals. The ones they sleep with. Thats it . They never played with them and all they wanted to do was fight so after countless times of warning them that they needed to stop fighting they lost them. And when we were removing all their toys we realized they had broken their closet doors. So yea since weve lived here( 6 /7 months) they have broken their bedroom door( we use baby gates there now) and both their closet doors. Well yea guess its pretty easy to say they lost XMas gifts from us too. We explained that because they broke stuff they money we were gonna use on gifts will now go to that. Their ok with it . They know the'll still get stuff from family and santa. Not like they will play with the toys or anything. hubby bear and myself have agreed to get Lil man a couple things since Cpt.KIA will get things from Momma L. ( Bio mom) So to be fair well get him one or two things. And plus I think since CPT.KIA got a bike for his 5th xmas( that he still cant ride.) were going to get lil man something like a jeep or something. ( if hes good lol )