life as we know it

Is finally starting to settle into what feels normal. We took StepSon to BioMoms last friday. Went to eat and let him pick what ever he wanted. Then headed up for the 3-4 hour drive. Which I can proudly announce I only slept alittle bit. Once we got there we helped him get settled in and let the boys play together for alittle bit longer while the adults looked over the agreement I had typed and printed up then we all said our goodbyes. Actually leaving without him and knowing it would be months befor seeing him was the hardest for all of us. Even Lil man was rather quiet. So Im thinking deep down he knew what was happening. But we kept reminding ourselves that even though we know its whats best for him it still sucked for us. Its been a full week and even though the sudden shock of not having him here and the little things we missed just at the strangest times. But we have finally grown into a pattern. Both Hubby Bear and Lil man will most likely drive up there for stepsons bday to spend some time with him. I will saddly most likely be working.

I along with Lil mans teachers have noticed that within the last week his speach has improved. He is acting out though. But thinking its just him trying to get use to being the only kid full time in the house. If that makes sense. All of us have pretty much been sick within the last week. I am finally getting over mine.

Think with everything calming down I am finally getting into the Holiday Spirt. Dont know if it had been broken or bruised or was just plain hiding but untill this week my spirt for the holiday was gone. Didnt want anything to do with this time of year. Yes my bday including. But in the last week we have taken lil man to see santa. And Im all up for wraping gifts. We wont have a xmas tree but thats ok. Lil mans still so young that he only really cares about the gifts. We were thinking about getting lil man a bike for xmas but we are going ot get it for his bday. Im just glad we were able to get all the boys gifts already and take stepsons up to bio moms so we know hell have them when he wakes up xmas morning. Thats gonna be another bittersweet day but well try to make it the best. At least we get him next Xmas. Thinking Im gonna try to go find a REALLY cheap tree with the money I was gonna use towards getting a bike. If anything Im gonna go get this really cute cookie plate from Cracker Barrell so we can do cookies and milk for santa. Hope santa likes Soymilk.