Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Thats all that can really describe my life right now. Im not going to be all dramtic right now. Theres no reason for it. It IS my life. And even if right now it is not perfect. I will handle everything with my head held high and the ones that TRULLY love me by my side.

Last week was great for the most part. My grandparents visited from Colo. I had to work pretty much everyday they were here. But hey. Thats what you gotta do when you work for someone else. I enjoyed every moment of being with them. Even if no one was talking . lol . I do have to say that even though I love getting older.... *Cough*I mean now that Im an adult. Its hard to see the people youve loved your entire life growing older. I had to work Thanksgiving but thankfully my family agreed it would be better to wait a day and have me there then have it without me. THANK YOU again for that .Step Son was with Bio moms parents for most of the week.

Friday we will be taking Step son up to Bio Moms to live. It will be hard. Because yes Ive had a really hard time growing a mother son bond with him, Theres many many reasons for this. I have pretty much raised him since I was 17 and him 13 months. And now Im going on 24 and hes going on 8. He is one of my sons. But both Hubby bear and myself know that right now this isnt the place for him. His attention seeking is getting worse and worse and with him going to school and getting me introuble with the state were not sure what else to do. So maybe with bio mom he will get all the attention he needs and wants. I can honestly say that we have had many many talks about whats the right thing for him. And even thought in the end we think him living with her is the right thing it will trully be weird not having him here full time. Yes something that only time with take but it will still be strange. At least we know that she will be able to take care of him. We would not send him to someone or where that was not safe or a good thing for him.

Well it seems each day our family grow smaller and smaller. Hubby bears family has pretty much turned their backs on us for the choice to send stepson to biomoms. There are very few of his family that say that they understand why we are doing this and supporting us. Even if they didnt understand and support this that is no reason for them to turn their backs on us. We knew this choice was going to be hard for some of them , seeing as really the only one they love and want anything to do with is being sent to bio moms. But even if you dont agree with something someone you love is doing . You should still be there for them. Well their choicing not to . And right about now. Even though it sucks it will be fine. They dont want anything to do with us . Well then we wont even bother with them. Hubby bear is really hurting about this but he is seeing their true colors finally. They will know where to find us when and if they wish to try again but we wont be begging them for any type of relationship. Just really feel bad for Lil man.

Life is alittle crazy right now. But how do you ever learn to enjoy the good if you never endure the bad??