What can I say .....

Yesterday just pretty much sucked all around.

I mean dont get me wrong it had its good points and its great points but pretty much all around it sucked.

Yesterday when I was getting lil man ready for school ,Someone calls my cell. I didnt know the number but it was local and with everything going on with my moms cell and having to call from work alot I thought it was her. Man was I wrong. It turns out that it was Children and youth..... Yep thats right . Those evil little SOB's that can take your children away for the smallest reason. My heart stoped. This is not the first time weve had them called on us. YEARS ago . My step son was stay with his Maternal grandparents and recieved a hand shaped bruise. While he was in custody of them. They called them on us. If that isnt twisted I dont know what is. The lady came to our house and everything was fine. Well this past weekend he stayed at the same grandparents house for the first time in years. and yes tuesday there is another bruise on him. But heres the kicker , They didnt call it on us . THE SCHOOL DID . My step son decided to lie about me telling them I hit him. Yes this is a lie. He will even tell you he lied. But because of the law ANY and ALL signs of child abuse must be reported. I fully respect this law. I am sure it saves MANY children from Situations they chouldnt be in. But this is not one of those cases. I DO NOT hit my children. The most Ive done to stepson since hes been back from his grandparents is given him hugs. I mean if theres something wrong with that please let me know and Ill never hug anyone. Ever . But man.... Lets just say all My patient with him is gone. For a few months now he has been getting worse and worse and hes even doing it to his father now. Which im thankful for so that way hubby bear is finally believeing be when I tell him hes doing these things. I know everyone( hubby bears family ) seems to think this child is perfect but I agree with hubby bear when he says " They all think hes this perfect angel when in reality hes the complete ops" Now dont get me wrong. This child has some good points. He can be a GREAT child when he Wants to. After all of this the guy came. Sall the house and sall how lil man is and Declared it "Unfounded". But just the fact that they were investgating ME . Not us . ME . Is enought that I just cant handle it anymore. Im losing myself because of my step son and I cant handle it anymore. And I think its safe to say that neither can Hubby bear. So on Dec 4th. Step son will be living with bio mom. I feel bad for hubby bear because yes this is his first born and deep down he feels like he Failed him. Which I can totally understand. But he does finally see that step son needs some serious help and he isnt able to get that here. Maybe shell be able to give him what he needs.

Think you can guess after that my nerves were shot and I just wasnt up for anything. I even called off of work stating Family emergancy. Which I think that qualifies. But on a brighter note. I had my Big dr. Apt yesterday, Yes after everything with C&Y. I met with the main Dr. And another lady. They both seem really nice and willing to do what I need done to help me. So as long as I do everything I need to do And they can get what they need done. Im looking at a whole new life. I am still not telling many people but I have made the choice that once I get a set date and This will happen. I will tell everyone. Because I know I will need a strong support group.

Even though my nerves were shot and everything else I did get to spend the evening with Hubby bear which was nice. I know we were pretty much spent after what happend but it was nice to have that amount of time together.

But I guess I should head out and call around to see about apts and everything I need to get done. Lil mans Xmas pics come in today. The proofs looked great so Im hoping the actual Pictures will look even better. Oh yea and tonigth were going to see NEW MOON!!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait ot have some time with no kids but even more to see NEW MOON.

L8ters