WHY ME!!!

I came onto my blog like the good lil girl I am to check up on everyone elses blogs I read and my list DISAPPEARD!!!!! WHY ME?!?!?

So now my job is to TRY to find them again. If I'm unable to find them thank y'all so very much for letting me peep into your lives.

I did start to update my music player .. well making a new one but now Im listening to my old one and I still love all those songs so think what Im gonna try doing is figuring out my password for the curent one and just adding to it if Im able to .

Come to realize I really hate our car. As most of you know , well the one or maybe two people that actually read this . Hubby bear got into a car accident on halloween last and we didnt know if they were going to total it out or not. Well they did only thing is because of when we switched companys with our loan to try to get a better payment no one told us the gap insurance was being totaled. NOT ONE FREAKING PERSON!!! So there we were trying to get another car loan since we didnt have money to go buy another car outrite. And were sitting there being told not only can they not get us approved for anything cheaper then like 500 a month our old car was on our credit not once but TWICE! Because when we switched loan companys that company posted it once and heres the kicker they sold out their company to another and That companys claiming it on there also . So we have the same car on our credit twice with two diffrent companys. And thats not even the worse part that last company is claiming it as a repo... UM NO!!! No one came and got it or took it from us. It was in a accident . Were trying to fight it but were pretty much getting nowhere . So after finding all that out a family member loaned us alittle money . That honestly they dont really have to loan us to try to get another one from like Craigslist.com or somewhere like that . Well we did . Only thing is the guy had it all set up to where it ran fine and then a couple days after we had it home one thing went wrong then another and another and another . So even though we had a car we couldnt use it . Yea I was not a happy camper. Finally after months of not having a car and relieing on everyone else we were able to come up with like 500 for a car that was a friends . Lets just say it was not taken care of . I hate being in it and cant really drive it a whole bunch.... I know we need another car right now but we just cant afford it with everything else going on right now. Just venting I guess.

Butter my biscuit SHES BACK

Guess who's back???? CHER!!!

Lol no just lil ol me . I figured it was about time to get this going again. Ive been toying with the idea of starting back up or just flat out starting a new one and what I'm doing is kinda both . Same blog but WHOLE new feeling to it . Hope y'all like. Life is so good right now I just want to continue to have a way to write it out and remember it all. I want to update my music player so maybe by tonight or tomorrow Ill have it all updated.

If you would have told me back in sep that my life would be like this just these few months later I woulda never believed it. Things are so good with me and hubby. Honestly its been years since weve been this happy . Its either been I was happy and trying to make him happy or him trying to make me happy or neither of us happy but this is the first time in such a long time that weve both been happy. I am just so glad that we have been able to find our way back to each other after everything we have been trew and put each other trew. Moving to Texas together was trully the missing piece that was missing .

Lil man is doing better then ever. As most of you know with him being Autistic hes had a hard time with many of the little things other children just pick up. But with the school hes in, They are helping him sooooo much . He is writing his own name and speaking it complete sentences for the most part. He knows the diffrence between Hot&Cold. Up&down, Good&Bad and all those good things. This classroom is just the right spot for him right now. Our goal is to mainstream him into a regular classroom oneday. But for right now Im just so thankful for the prgress he is already making . Cant believe hes alread 7 and in less then a year will be 8 and out of a carseat. :( . It might not seem like a big thing to everyone else but to me him getting out of a carseat is a big milestone to me because its kinda like hes going from my little boy to a big boy. Its like with the carseat goes his baby/boyish years . The next one will me 13 when he can sit in the front seat ..... Can I say I feel old. But hes loving the warm weather, Im excited for him to find the love of water like I have but thinking hes gonna be like his daddy in this fact. And thats ok .

Stepsons still living with my inlaws. And honestly that is the best place for him. He is doing so great school wise . And with him being there , Theres no drama here between the two boys. Me and him . Me and hubby . or Hubbys family and us . Not to mention hes able to have a relationship with Biomom and I dont have to deal with her YIPPIE!!! lol . We were thinking about bringing him back because we have finally gotten settled and living in a beautiful 3 bedroom 2 bath with huge front and back yards and in a great school district . But when we really sat down and realized that this situation is better for everyone involved we knew it was better to just leave him with Hubbys family .

Hubby bear is <3ing it down here . It took him ohh about 3 days to get use to it . The weather is still catching him by surprise . He never believed me when I told him about how one moment it can be beautiful and then the next a hail storm .... And the fact it could be dead humid in the middle of the night. But hes loving it down here. I always joked that he was ment to be in texas and now he agrees. Hes working at an alright job. We would like it better if it was closer or 1st shift but right now hes working toward another job that would take him away from the home for awhile but the money would be so good that we could get out of debt not to mention new cars and hopefully a new house .... HOPEFULLY ! Im not going to get too into details about the job but even though Id miss him Im really hoping he gets this job. He finally got his Tx Id today. Well went and transferd his id. It will come in the mail in a couple weeks. Its offical . Hes a texan! Even though hes lived here since Oct. and has bills in his name. But it's all good . Hes here and hes mine.

We have a new member to the family. Would like everyone to meet Gizmo. She was born Jan 17th. My mommas Bday. Shes half Boxer and Half Irish Setter. She has grown soo much over the last couple months. And everyone says this is about the time when shes going to level off and stop going. Hope so cuz shes like trippled in size. But shes a sweet heart and deff a member of this family.

And now to me. Like Ive said if I was told this is how my life would be like now I would never believe it . One thing I always knew is that I would be happier once I was back and boy is this true. Theres times I still have my moments , but Im human get over it. I have a wounderful family in a beautiful home . Beautiful weather . Such a great best friend and people around me . I acctually had thanksgiving with my grandfather and xmas with my grandmother . Havnt had holiday with my family in a long time . Had thanksgiving with my grandmother a couple years ago but other then that didnt get to see them hardly ever. I was going out alot but Im happy at home . Always have been but with my bestfriend living 3 blocks away from me we can have fun at home and not go anywhere. I do have to say that Befor I moved back I thought I would be closer with another friend of mine then I am with her . The one I though would be closer didnt really make an effort or take it when I tried so I just stoped trying . She knows where I live. and how to get ahold of me . As that Im always up for hanging out but Im not going to wait around forever for her to show she cares. I know she loves me but Im going to leave it at that . My BESTFRIEND has been in my life for the last 13 yrs. She is so much like me that we call eachother twin because we just have that connection .I have a few other friends and then D thats been in my life since I was 8 almost 9 . Shes like a sister to me and dont know what I would do without her and her family. I have also FINALLY figured out what Im going to go to school for. I know its taken me years but thats because over the years theres been a few things I knew I could be happy doing but I feel like this is the best fit for me. Waiting to push forward with it untill we know whats going on with the job situation for Hubby Bear. Guess Im going to leave this for now. Hope y'all enjoy.

PS Was going to post pics but Bloggers having a hissy fit so im gonna try later . Peace Love Chicken Grease

Holy Cow.... I cant believe its november already. I come back to this blog from time to time to check up on the other peoples lives I spy on. But never actually sit down and type something out .
We are finally living back in the great state of TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!
And I dont think theres any other place Id rather be. Granted some things arnt as good as I was thinking/hoping they were going to be but other things totally makes up for it. Hubby Bear is loving it down here.(*Cough*Told you so*Cough*) Lil man is loving the beautiful weather and having all the new people around.
We are living in a beautiful home in a great area.
Hubby bear got into another car accident sunday... He did some major damage to our car but thankfully he and the other car are perfectlly fine.
We dont know for sure but were pretty sure with the amount of damage done to it there going to total the car. Not sure how Im feeling about that.
Life is crazy right now. But Im loving every moment of it.

ok so maybe Im not that great at blogging .
Like I have this image in my head of what I want to be like.
Someday I actually come quite close.
But then theres others where I couldnt be farther from it if I tried.
Like today .
I want to sit down and play with Lil man.
But he never wants to play with me.
I want to clean up and and make the house nice and clean for my family.
But I still havnt gotten up.
I want to get us down to everything and only what we need .
Seeing as this is the last week in this house.
But theres still crap everywhere.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Maybe it wont.
I know Im blessed.
I am Flawed. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am lucky. I am blessed. I am flawed.

Only two more days of work.
Seems almost bitter sweet.
Been waiting for this to come. But now that its here I just want to stay so that way I get to spend more time out of the house and make more money .
But then the thought of being home at night and waking up and actually being awake pulls me back from wanting to ask to stay.
Lil man is driving my absolutly crazy.
I know its sad to say but I miss the meds.
Does that make me a bad mother?
Thats it for now. Im sure once im done with work Ill be on here more .

12 More days!!!!
Yep you heard it right. 12 more working days untill I never bestone a Suncco Working Smock.
Its dawning on me even more now that within a month I will be saying goodbye to Pa forever and Hello to where the heart is.
Yes that was totally a rip off from a movie.
A very good movie BTW!
Showed the house to a couple yesterday. They had seen two diffrent houses. Ours and another one. But this couple seemed to like the fact ours was on a more private lot then the other one was and even though ours isnt as nice as the other one but ours is almost a 1000 cheaper. So hopefully they take it.
Trying hard to get rid of everything around the house we dont need.
NOT having very good luck. Please Please Please cross your fingers for us.
I had a proud moment the other day.
My grandmother is finally venturing out into the land we like to know as FaceBook. And me ... Someone half a country away instructed her how to find her main Facebook page and her mail. I was proud that I was able to help her even within a short paragraph.
nothing else really happening. Just alot of getting everything ready.
Theres somethings going on between me and Hubby Bear. I wont really go into it right now but this move will either make us or break us.
Off to enjoy my morning befor have to go back to the hell I call work.
Byes

Been back to work for almost a week now.
I missed ALMOST everyone there.
Hince on the Almost part.
Summer is trully here.
Were really busy .
Which is nice because it usally makes the time go faster.
I do miss being home at nights though.
Think when I finally do get a job in Tx Ill either go part time or only work mornings.
Ive been on a "CupCake Hunt".
Have yet to find a actually good one.
Just a crappy one that I coulda made myself.
Tomorrow I have off . Hubby bears planning on working late So think me and lil man are just gonna relax. Maybe some movies. PLaying and hopefully Ill be awake enough to go for a walk.
Im really thinking about stoping something Ive loved to do for almost half my life.
Nothing harmful or against the law.
Just something I do on the computer . Ive done it since I was 11 .. Well on and off . After lil man was born I took a break from it and went back to it a couple years ago.
But It seems forced now. And Seems like its taking time away from things that in honesty is more important. and I know that when this move happends I wont even really have time for it.
Ill miss it. It was kinda my creative outtage. But In the end itll be better and I know that Ill always be able to go back to it .