Flying off the handle and into a bucket of Texas summer Berries

2011-05-19T19:39:00.000-04:00

WHY ME!!!

I came onto my blog like the good lil girl I am to check up on everyone elses blogs I read and my list DISAPPEARD!!!!! WHY ME?!?!?

So now my job is to TRY to find them again. If I'm unable to find them thank y'all so very much for letting me peep into your lives.

I did start to update my music player .. well making a new one but now Im listening to my old one and I still love all those songs so think what Im gonna try doing is figuring out my password for the curent one and just adding to it if Im able to .

Come to realize I really hate our car. As most of you know , well the one or maybe two people that actually read this . Hubby bear got into a car accident on halloween last and we didnt know if they were going to total it out or not. Well they did only thing is because of when we switched companys with our loan to try to get a better payment no one told us the gap insurance was being totaled. NOT ONE FREAKING PERSON!!! So there we were trying to get another car loan since we didnt have money to go buy another car outrite. And were sitting there being told not only can they not get us approved for anything cheaper then like 500 a month our old car was on our credit not once but TWICE! Because when we switched loan companys that company posted it once and heres the kicker they sold out their company to another and That companys claiming it on there also . So we have the same car on our credit twice with two diffrent companys. And thats not even the worse part that last company is claiming it as a repo... UM NO!!! No one came and got it or took it from us. It was in a accident . Were trying to fight it but were pretty much getting nowhere . So after finding all that out a family member loaned us alittle money . That honestly they dont really have to loan us to try to get another one from like Craigslist.com or somewhere like that . Well we did . Only thing is the guy had it all set up to where it ran fine and then a couple days after we had it home one thing went wrong then another and another and another . So even though we had a car we couldnt use it . Yea I was not a happy camper. Finally after months of not having a car and relieing on everyone else we were able to come up with like 500 for a car that was a friends . Lets just say it was not taken care of . I hate being in it and cant really drive it a whole bunch.... I know we need another car right now but we just cant afford it with everything else going on right now. Just venting I guess.

Butter my biscuit SHES BACK

2011-05-16T21:16:00.005-04:00

Guess who's back???? CHER!!!

Lol no just lil ol me . I figured it was about time to get this going again. Ive been toying with the idea of starting back up or just flat out starting a new one and what I'm doing is kinda both . Same blog but WHOLE new feeling to it . Hope y'all like. Life is so good right now I just want to continue to have a way to write it out and remember it all. I want to update my music player so maybe by tonight or tomorrow Ill have it all updated.

If you would have told me back in sep that my life would be like this just these few months later I woulda never believed it. Things are so good with me and hubby. Honestly its been years since weve been this happy . Its either been I was happy and trying to make him happy or him trying to make me happy or neither of us happy but this is the first time in such a long time that weve both been happy. I am just so glad that we have been able to find our way back to each other after everything we have been trew and put each other trew. Moving to Texas together was trully the missing piece that was missing .

Lil man is doing better then ever. As most of you know with him being Autistic hes had a hard time with many of the little things other children just pick up. But with the school hes in, They are helping him sooooo much . He is writing his own name and speaking it complete sentences for the most part. He knows the diffrence between Hot&Cold. Up&down, Good&Bad and all those good things. This classroom is just the right spot for him right now. Our goal is to mainstream him into a regular classroom oneday. But for right now Im just so thankful for the prgress he is already making . Cant believe hes alread 7 and in less then a year will be 8 and out of a carseat. :( . It might not seem like a big thing to everyone else but to me him getting out of a carseat is a big milestone to me because its kinda like hes going from my little boy to a big boy. Its like with the carseat goes his baby/boyish years . The next one will me 13 when he can sit in the front seat ..... Can I say I feel old. But hes loving the warm weather, Im excited for him to find the love of water like I have but thinking hes gonna be like his daddy in this fact. And thats ok .

Stepsons still living with my inlaws. And honestly that is the best place for him. He is doing so great school wise . And with him being there , Theres no drama here between the two boys. Me and him . Me and hubby . or Hubbys family and us . Not to mention hes able to have a relationship with Biomom and I dont have to deal with her YIPPIE!!! lol . We were thinking about bringing him back because we have finally gotten settled and living in a beautiful 3 bedroom 2 bath with huge front and back yards and in a great school district . But when we really sat down and realized that this situation is better for everyone involved we knew it was better to just leave him with Hubbys family .

Hubby bear is <3ing it down here . It took him ohh about 3 days to get use to it . The weather is still catching him by surprise . He never believed me when I told him about how one moment it can be beautiful and then the next a hail storm .... And the fact it could be dead humid in the middle of the night. But hes loving it down here. I always joked that he was ment to be in texas and now he agrees. Hes working at an alright job. We would like it better if it was closer or 1st shift but right now hes working toward another job that would take him away from the home for awhile but the money would be so good that we could get out of debt not to mention new cars and hopefully a new house .... HOPEFULLY ! Im not going to get too into details about the job but even though Id miss him Im really hoping he gets this job. He finally got his Tx Id today. Well went and transferd his id. It will come in the mail in a couple weeks. Its offical . Hes a texan! Even though hes lived here since Oct. and has bills in his name. But it's all good . Hes here and hes mine.

We have a new member to the family. Would like everyone to meet Gizmo. She was born Jan 17th. My mommas Bday. Shes half Boxer and Half Irish Setter. She has grown soo much over the last couple months. And everyone says this is about the time when shes going to level off and stop going. Hope so cuz shes like trippled in size. But shes a sweet heart and deff a member of this family.

And now to me. Like Ive said if I was told this is how my life would be like now I would never believe it . One thing I always knew is that I would be happier once I was back and boy is this true. Theres times I still have my moments , but Im human get over it. I have a wounderful family in a beautiful home . Beautiful weather . Such a great best friend and people around me . I acctually had thanksgiving with my grandfather and xmas with my grandmother . Havnt had holiday with my family in a long time . Had thanksgiving with my grandmother a couple years ago but other then that didnt get to see them hardly ever. I was going out alot but Im happy at home . Always have been but with my bestfriend living 3 blocks away from me we can have fun at home and not go anywhere. I do have to say that Befor I moved back I thought I would be closer with another friend of mine then I am with her . The one I though would be closer didnt really make an effort or take it when I tried so I just stoped trying . She knows where I live. and how to get ahold of me . As that Im always up for hanging out but Im not going to wait around forever for her to show she cares. I know she loves me but Im going to leave it at that . My BESTFRIEND has been in my life for the last 13 yrs. She is so much like me that we call eachother twin because we just have that connection .I have a few other friends and then D thats been in my life since I was 8 almost 9 . Shes like a sister to me and dont know what I would do without her and her family. I have also FINALLY figured out what Im going to go to school for. I know its taken me years but thats because over the years theres been a few things I knew I could be happy doing but I feel like this is the best fit for me. Waiting to push forward with it untill we know whats going on with the job situation for Hubby Bear. Guess Im going to leave this for now. Hope y'all enjoy.

PS Was going to post pics but Bloggers having a hissy fit so im gonna try later . Peace Love Chicken Grease

2010-11-04T23:34:00.000-04:00

Holy Cow.... I cant believe its november already. I come back to this blog from time to time to check up on the other peoples lives I spy on. But never actually sit down and type something out .
We are finally living back in the great state of TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!
And I dont think theres any other place Id rather be. Granted some things arnt as good as I was thinking/hoping they were going to be but other things totally makes up for it. Hubby Bear is loving it down here.(*Cough*Told you so*Cough*) Lil man is loving the beautiful weather and having all the new people around.
We are living in a beautiful home in a great area.
Hubby bear got into another car accident sunday... He did some major damage to our car but thankfully he and the other car are perfectlly fine.
We dont know for sure but were pretty sure with the amount of damage done to it there going to total the car. Not sure how Im feeling about that.
Life is crazy right now. But Im loving every moment of it.

2010-08-31T09:27:00.000-04:00

ok so maybe Im not that great at blogging .
Like I have this image in my head of what I want to be like.
Someday I actually come quite close.
But then theres others where I couldnt be farther from it if I tried.
Like today .
I want to sit down and play with Lil man.
But he never wants to play with me.
I want to clean up and and make the house nice and clean for my family.
But I still havnt gotten up.
I want to get us down to everything and only what we need .
Seeing as this is the last week in this house.
But theres still crap everywhere.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Maybe it wont.
I know Im blessed.
I am Flawed. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am lucky. I am blessed. I am flawed.

2010-08-23T10:05:00.000-04:00

Only two more days of work.
Seems almost bitter sweet.
Been waiting for this to come. But now that its here I just want to stay so that way I get to spend more time out of the house and make more money .
But then the thought of being home at night and waking up and actually being awake pulls me back from wanting to ask to stay.
Lil man is driving my absolutly crazy.
I know its sad to say but I miss the meds.
Does that make me a bad mother?
Thats it for now. Im sure once im done with work Ill be on here more .

2010-08-09T10:51:00.000-04:00

12 More days!!!!
Yep you heard it right. 12 more working days untill I never bestone a Suncco Working Smock.
Its dawning on me even more now that within a month I will be saying goodbye to Pa forever and Hello to where the heart is.
Yes that was totally a rip off from a movie.
A very good movie BTW!
Showed the house to a couple yesterday. They had seen two diffrent houses. Ours and another one. But this couple seemed to like the fact ours was on a more private lot then the other one was and even though ours isnt as nice as the other one but ours is almost a 1000 cheaper. So hopefully they take it.
Trying hard to get rid of everything around the house we dont need.
NOT having very good luck. Please Please Please cross your fingers for us.
I had a proud moment the other day.
My grandmother is finally venturing out into the land we like to know as FaceBook. And me ... Someone half a country away instructed her how to find her main Facebook page and her mail. I was proud that I was able to help her even within a short paragraph.
nothing else really happening. Just alot of getting everything ready.
Theres somethings going on between me and Hubby Bear. I wont really go into it right now but this move will either make us or break us.
Off to enjoy my morning befor have to go back to the hell I call work.
Byes

2010-08-02T01:08:00.000-04:00

Been back to work for almost a week now.
I missed ALMOST everyone there.
Hince on the Almost part.
Summer is trully here.
Were really busy .
Which is nice because it usally makes the time go faster.
I do miss being home at nights though.
Think when I finally do get a job in Tx Ill either go part time or only work mornings.
Ive been on a "CupCake Hunt".
Have yet to find a actually good one.
Just a crappy one that I coulda made myself.
Tomorrow I have off . Hubby bears planning on working late So think me and lil man are just gonna relax. Maybe some movies. PLaying and hopefully Ill be awake enough to go for a walk.
Im really thinking about stoping something Ive loved to do for almost half my life.
Nothing harmful or against the law.
Just something I do on the computer . Ive done it since I was 11 .. Well on and off . After lil man was born I took a break from it and went back to it a couple years ago.
But It seems forced now. And Seems like its taking time away from things that in honesty is more important. and I know that when this move happends I wont even really have time for it.
Ill miss it. It was kinda my creative outtage. But In the end itll be better and I know that Ill always be able to go back to it .

2010-07-26T13:00:00.000-04:00

Only have two days left in my vacation.
Makes me sad that I just wasted it.
But liked the fact that I got to spend plenty of time with my guys.
Even more drama with Bio Bitch.
She walked away from step son once again.
Only thing diffrent about it this time is I wont be there to pick up the pieces.
Guess you can say after everything Ive been trew because of him. Hes not part of my life anymore.
The only person that can judge me is God.
Found the perfect Duplex in the town were moving to.
If only they could hold it till we get there.
I could actually see me living there... Is that sad?
I miss my momma and friends. Cant wait to see them.
Think I might go shopping tonight. Thinking about it. Need some more clothes. Clash of the gods comes out tomorrow. Really want to rent it for my last day of vacation.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA!!!!

2010-07-23T22:12:00.002-04:00

Well plans for my vactation didnt go as planned.
Thats ok though. Went and tried out this mexican restrant that we keep hearing about. Fiesta Ole.
OMG the best Chicken Enchaladas Ive ever had.
Momma if your reading this of course I mean other then yours.
The had a special on original Margaritas . $2.50 .
Man , It was so strong deff work the $2.50.
Rented a bunch of movies.
Cop Out , Post Grad , Our family Wedding , And the movie for Prison break.
Not to mention season 3 of Tutors.
I wanted to rent the 1st season of True Blood but man theres like 8 disk and I know I have a good amount of time on my hands but not that much.
Got 98.9% of the stuff in storage.
Hit my head about 6 times today on one door or another.
After the last time I gave up and sat in the car while Hubby bear finished off.
Thank you hubby bear.
Selling MIL's car is becoming a pain.
But on the plus side we have a plan for what to do about the house.
I think its going to storm again.
Go figure my only week of vacation and their planning storms all weekend.
Im getting more and more excited about moving home.
This Misplaced texan will no longer be misplaced.
Heading to go watch the rest of Cop out. Very funny movie if anyone wants a good laught.

Holy crap

2010-07-22T09:50:00.000-04:00

Can you say Ive been slacking?

Not gonna make exscuess. I just didnt want to blog. Ok correction. I wanted to but everytime I went to do It I lost the desire to have my life read . so Im gonna try to be better at this. Think instead of like a book or whatever Im just gonna ramble.

Moving to Texas is Sep.
Couldnt be more trilled about this.
Found the CUTEST boots ever last night.
Dont have the money for them yet.
Hubby bear got a pair of pants that he hasnt been able to fit into since he was 19. CONGRATS hubby bear.
Im on my 2nd day of Vacation.
Feels like its almost over. How sad is that.
Went to the Crayola Factory last saterday.
Wasnt as fun as I thought it would be. But lil man enjoyed it.
Thats all that matters right?
Lil mans def got a mind of his own now.
Sometimes I love it.
Sometimes I dont.
Starting to hate my job.
Thankfully I only have another 4 weeks after my vacation left there.
More wrapping to do tonight and then pretty much everything I own will be put into storage tomorrow.
Going to get a pedicure tonight. Mmmmm To be pamperd for an hour.
Thinking about coloring my hair again. Blond on top brown on bottom....
Starting to lose weight... even if it is only a couple pounds here and there. Its still something.
The people we rent this land from wont approve the people that were gonna take over the place for us once we move.
Its gonna ruin our credit even more but were just gonna have to leave.
Thats if for now.

2010-04-23T11:06:00.000-04:00

Im feeling rather old today.

One of my bestfriends lil boys is turning 8 today.

I was there when they conceived him. I was the one that helped without actually doing anything. lol Thats a inside joke. But yea . I was in my mid teens when he was born. And the fact that hes now 8 is making it even more clear today that I am no longer young.

Is it werid that his birthday is hitting me more then lil mans is?

2010-04-21T12:21:00.000-04:00

Lil Man got into more stuff this morning. This is every morning for like the last two weeks. I guess its partly my fault because of me working evenings I am very tired in the mornings. But I get up with him every morning and feed him all his meals . So why he still gets into food is still a mistery. Any ideas would be great.

Im not feeling that hot right now. Not sure what it is but just feel .... sick ... I guess thats the best word for it.

I love this feeling of happiness. I can sometimes self destroy. And Im tired of that. I feel like sometimes Im scared of trully letting myself be happy . Even though its what I want more then anything . And to be honest if I would just tell myself to chill I would see I have that. Have a nice house. Beautiful weather . Wounderful husband. and a great son. Yes there are some issues but there is nothing that is perfect. I am happy and I will continue to be.

2010-04-19T13:51:00.000-04:00

So things are fastly getting back to normal. Which is nice. I can honestly say Ive missed it. Even with a few issues here and there things are nicly settling back for all of my lil family. Ok so maybe alittle more dramatic then it actually has been.

Summer is coming and all I feel like doing is hiding under a blanket till it goes away. This has been a issue for me since I have gotten the blessing of school for my children. The idea of them home all day long scares me. Makes me feel like a bad mother because I dont have some new and exciting adventure planed out.

dont think it will be too bad this summer. lil man has 4 weeks of summer school just to keep him up and ready for Kindergarden. Step son will be coming and if the money pans out we should be doing a bunch of fun things like movies . Bounce u . Pool. Drive inn. Maybe go get his pics done since were pretty sure bio mom wont be sending any to us . Well at least i am. Im hoping to try again to teach lil man to swim. Not sure how thats going to go. But we can try. I will hopefully have my surgery in june. And then theres the VIP tickets to the hottest country star out there . Jason Aldean.

I do admit that lately Ive been giving hubby bear a bit of a hard time. Not all of it is my fault . But I know what a great guy I have. I love him with everything I can and I hope he knows this. And Babe. I promise to try more as long as you do to.

Our 7 year aniversary is next monday. And all I can say is . Damn. I cant believe how time flys. I honestly never sall my life being what it is. But I love it. And it can only get better. Well off to play games on facebook. Later

Im Sorry

2010-04-06T12:29:00.000-04:00

I know its been forever since Ive posted. But I have good reasoning. My brand new laptops harddrive crashed.... Yea it sucked. But its fixed and we finally have it back. Ok so maybe its been a week but still. Just kinda been vedging with the blogging. I have been reading everyones though.

Everything with the surgery is coming along. I did get approval and had a date but because of a miscomunication it is getting pushed off a couple months. Which is fine . But untill I actually have a set set date and everything Ill be keeping quiet about it . Dont want to jinxe it.

Summer is fastly approching . It seems like it was just last summer. The weather is beautiful. Dont think I could ask for it to be nicer . But since I work evenings I dont get to really enjoy it.

Step son will be back under our roof for a couple weeks this summer. It will be the first time weve been around him since he went to live with Bio Mom. And lets just say. This should be intresting. At BioMoms he pretty much runs things. Here. We still have the same rules. I dont see this going well. Ontop of the fact Hubby Bears father is taking step son to Disney while they have him for an entire month but didnt even bother to invite Lil to this. Things are already really tense regarding step son. But he is just a child and I wont be mad at him for my IN LAWS. It will still be intresting because dates are messing with everyone so we dont even know when were getting him.

Lil man is become more and more his own self. And even though theres times I just want (Key word :Want:) to hit him for being a smart ass. (Once again. I do not hit my children or any child)I couldnt love him anymore if I tried. Yesterday we drove by a amusement park thats by our house and he went "MOMMA DADDY LETS GO!" I was so proud. Even though it sucked to tell him not right now because its closed. The fact that he gets excited about that type of thing is such a great things to see.

Hubby bears still not working. Hes planning on going back to work next week for the mere fact we need money. But at least it wont kill his back even more to do this. I know we need the money but in a way Im so ready for us to get back to normal. And it will be nice to actually get the money from the accident. Even though it sucks for the reason were getting this.

Im still working hard. Just working on getting all the bills taken care of and trying my hardest to save up for the big move. 11 months to go..... Wow seems like this time is just flying by.

I found this on a fellow blogers blog and thought it would be fun. If you would like to read more of her blog. Take a stoll over to Choc drops . Its always a intresting read.

ABC's of me

A. AREA CODE: 484

B. BED SIZE: Queen

C. CHORE YOU HATE: Tolets

D. DOG'S NAME: No dog

E. ESSENTIAL "START THE DAY!" Drinkage

F. FAVORITE COLOR: I have a bunch

G. GOLD OR SILVER: Silver or white gold

H. HEIGHT: 5'4 1\2"

I. INSTRUMENTS YOU PLAY: Absolutely none lol.

J. JOB: Mother, Wife, Friend, CSR, Daughter ...and the list goes on

K. KIDS: Lil man

L. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: 2 br 2 bath HUGE living room.

M. MOM'S NAME:Momma

N. NICKNAME: Nikki , Shortie , Momma, Hunny , Angel, NEE NEE.

O. OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAY: Gah i dont even know

P. PET PEEVE: I have a couple

Q. QUOTE FROM A MOVIE: "What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?" Lion King

R. RIGHTY OR LEFTY?: Righty.

S. SIBLINGS: Older sister. Younger brother. And two younger sisters

T. TIME YOU WAKE UP: Since Hubby bears been home around 9 when hes not around 7

U. UNDERWEAR: Boy shorts

V. VEGGIE YOU DISLIKE: Theres a couple

W. WAYS/REASONS YOU ARE LATE: Traffic

X. XRAYS YOU'VE HAD: haha kidding me right ?

Y. YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: Im a Helva cook.

Z. ZOO ANIMALS YOU LIKE: Wolves and the Monkeys

2010-03-14T12:14:00.000-04:00

"When your going trew hell keep on going........"

Isnt that right? Lifes been kinda hell lately. Been one thing after the other. But I am slowly starting to be able to see a tiny bit of light at the end of this tunnel .

Not going to go into details. Guess details bore people. Ok so maybe thats not the truth. But hey it is what it is.

But things are getting better. I mean granted were on the 3rd day out of 4 straight days of rain.... Which the first two I had off of work. No such luck with today or tomorrow. But then its suppose to be nice out. Hey if it washes away all the nasty snow Im all for it.

My momma has offically moved back home. Its a sad thing but at the same time a good thing. Means shell be happier and its proves that Im even closer to moving back. And I CANT wait.

Still waiting to hear about the thing that im waiting ot tell everyone on here about. I really hate waiting but i have no choice right now. Oh well . I should have a awnser soon.

Alright gonna go watch tv befor work. Later

2010-03-06T09:07:00.002-05:00

Just cant catch a break.... MORE shit with the car..... Why couldnt they just fix it right the first time?!?!?!?!?

Pretty sure Ill be walking to work. How long do you think it will take me to walk the 8 miles to work? few hours at my pace?

Only thing thats made me smile trew the "Not enought sleep. Tired of her life" Haze that Im in is Peopleofwalmart.com

2010-03-05T11:47:00.000-05:00

Life is getting better.

Thats all Ill be saying about the past couple months.

But I came across this blog that I love. Its of a woman who is beautiful inside and out and she is doing this thing were she blogs Daily. Even if its the stupidest thing to her. So as being inspired by her That is what Im going to do. For right now is the way I feel that I can still blog even when Im not up to a long posting. So here it goes.

Dinner with my two fav guys. Then Alice in wounderland. and drinks with the gang. Sounds like a pretty great night. Johnny Depp in 3d. Need I say more?

2010-02-05T22:50:00.000-05:00

I might be MIA for awhile. Trying to figure out somethings silently . And Im learning its not the easiest thing to do all by yourself.

So Im sorry that I wont be posting for X amount of time. Maybe never again. Maybe tomorrow.

I will continue to get on and check out everyone elses blogs and continue on my other blog but since its not really a personal blog Im pretty sure I wont have such a hard time with it.

So for now. this will be it.

Continue to Dream.... In the end their all you have.

Strange

2010-02-02T13:43:00.000-05:00

I signed on today to a unknowing unapproved comment waiting for me. I did not understand what they were trying to say or who it was from.That dreaded "HIDE ME HIDE ME" Buttom. Why cant people just tell other people there reading or looking into their world. I know that with this blog Im going to have some people reading my inner thoughts. Even though these arnt really my deepest darkest thoughts. Maybe thats wrong of me. But Ive come to learn that theres better things left unsaid then cause a fight for something that shouldnt even be brought up. Hmmm Maybe one day Ill be able to just Open up to everyone or maybe just one or two people. I have one person I can open up to without worring about anything but that one person seems to cause issues with other people in my life so thats a situation I will leave alone for now.

Anyways. If anyone is reading this. Send me a Hey how are you. Or even fallow me. That wouldnt hurt... At least I dont think so.

Not trying to be crabby.. Not feeling good. Everyone at work has been sick lately.so its been going around... Not looking forward to tonight since its delievery day and usally just sucks.... I cant wait untill we move and then I can go to school for something that I know I will love alot more then what Im doing now and will pay me a hella lot more. But thats not for another year.

I was going to do a upbeat blog about my past weekend. And how I love finding people from my past. And yada yada yada but for some strange reason that Comment got to me. Not sure why though. It was just a weird comment from someone I dont have a clue who it is .Oh well . Work in a hour and Im sure Ill have plenty of other people to deal with then some strange person with a weird comment.

Tax Time

2010-01-29T23:40:00.000-05:00

So we got taxes today.... Did them last night. And let me say............

We got screwd.

Yep thats right , screwed. Pretty much got the money for the kids and a "Have a nice day".

But thats alright. Its enought money to get the new laptop weve been wanting and needing. A new digital camera. Taking care of everything for lil mans bday. Along with a few other bills. Which all in all. Is not bad.

Of course I was alittle upset about it when we orginally found out what we were getting back. But , In the end after some tears. Small argument... And I mean VERY small. We were able to come to a agreement with what we should do with the money. And I have to say. Its a really good plan.

I did start my other blog about what Im going trew with the surgery that Im still waiting on insurance approval for. I am not going to pin point where it is. But if you know this blog well enought. Which Im not sure is anyone. But if you know this blog well enought you might be able to find the link for it. If not then when the time comes I will put the link in a actual post.

Lil man has been horriable lately. And I say this with love. Theres times I love him and theres times I just wish he was at school or somewhere else. I didnt mean that to be harsh. but yea. Today and yesterday were two of those days. I love my son with everything I am. But WOW . Sometimes I just need a break. Thankfully tomorrow I will be getting that break. My lovely Momma is taking lil man for the night over her house. I will be at work all night but after work like 5 of us are going out and hubby bear is going to meet us out there. It should be a nice night out . More so to be able to sleep in without worring lil man will make a mess.

Maybe Ill get some good pics with the new camera. If your lucky Ill post some. And Im not big on pics of myself.

Finally

2010-01-24T12:43:00.002-05:00

I can honestly say that for years Ive been thinking about a Tattoo for my upper right arm. And FINALLY I have figured out what I want. And all in the same week found the woman who I want to do it. I have four more tattoos I want to get. That will bring the grand total after everythings said and done to 11. Yep thats right.11. I have 7 already. Me and hubby bear are planing on getting matching tattoos. And then theres the one Im going to get for lil man. His birth foot print and intials and birthdate then theres the one I found that the woman I want to do. Lets just say its gonna be girly. That is when ever I get it done. And then theres nother one Im going to get for my side. Yep thats right my rib cage. But after having my foot tattoed I dont think anything will hurt as bad. But Im waiting to describe the last two I want to get. But I know that Thell look perfect If Im able to do them. Correctiong WHEN I do them. But think Im running out of places to put them. So far I have my right outter ankle done with my sun/moon. Top left foot with shooting stars. Both inner wrist with Dream/Believe. Back of neck with the symble for Beautiful.Yes I Made sure it was the right symble befor I got it done. Between shoulder blades with my Beautiful butterfly. And then finally front of my left shoulder with my little angel/demon heart. Its cutter then it sounds. But the foot print Ill be doing on my lower back so that way when I have more children It will look like footprints across my back. The girly tattoo will go on my upper right arm. The secret one will go on my left side and Im not sure what the one for hubby will go. Were not even 100% which one were gonna get. Guess in time it will come to us when we find the right one.

Other then tattoos. Life is good. I know its been a LONG time since Ive said this. Yes we have the normal stuff like its cold and hubby bear hates his job. I on the other hand actually love my job... Well more the people then the actuall work. We are planning for the surgury and what were going to be doing with tax time. I figured out what Im getting lil man for his birthday and if I have the money what Im getting Hubby bear for our aniversary. Yes I know its still 9 months away but this is something Ill have to buy soon so I know well have them. And then theres moving. Both me and hubby bear have found everything we want and need for the most part. Now its just paying for it all.

I have decided that when the time comes and insurance approves me I will be starting another blog.It will be in regards to the type of surgury Im going to be having. But untill the day I get approved then I wont say more then I hope it happends. But everything seems to be coming along nicely with it. Have another apt tomorrow in regards to it. Hubby bear wont be able to go with me because lil man dosnt have school on mondays but it will still be nice to have him home for most the day . And tomorrow were gonna go look at the place were we might be getting lil mans bday cake from.

But thats about it . Hurt myself at work yesterday but the funny thing was that all I did was put a jacket on to go outside for a fresh air break( Equal to a smokers break for non smokers)and something just like poped in my shoulder. So Im thinking I either pinched or pulled a muscle. Oh well. Off to be supper mom. Thinking about changing the name of my blog. Who knows.
Hope everyone has a great day even with the ickky weather. <3

Sorry for the MIA

2010-01-11T09:34:00.003-05:00

But life has been good lately. Ok so yea it would be nice to be rich and live in Texas and have everything in the world .... But wanna hear the funny thing? Other then being rich Im about to get everything I want. >:Knock On Wood:< I Mean there still in the works and I know anything can happen but as it seems everything is finally working out for the best after years and years of let downs. And the best thing of all. Hubby Bear is finally working with me vs. Against me. We have gone trew hell and back. Some things people know others people dont and may never. But thats part of being married, You take the good with the bad. You support each other when the others weak , You praise them when they have been good and you love with no bound.

I am excited to say that we have finally started to go trew all our stuff and narrowing it down to what we will be taking with us to Tx and what will not be. And let me just say . HOLY CRAP we have alot of useless stuff. Thankfully most of its just like toys and the boys old clothes that we will be taking up to the Consignment shop and letting others get enjoyment out of them as well as giving us credit to get more useless stuff for Lil man. OTher things that are not kid related will be going up on craigslist and what dosnt sell will be tossed or given to who ever wants it. I am glad to say that while we were going trew everything we found a bunch of stuff we forgot about. Stuff that will Def be going with us. Think Im alittle excited about the whole moving/getting organized thing.

My mommas and hubby bears birthdays are right around the corner. Not to mention both boys birthdays are exactlly 2 weeks apart. We gave momma a really nice camera that we found a couple years ago. Dont know if it works but she loves it anyways. Im also planning on getting her one more thing that is more of a Joke gift. Hoping shell get a laught outta it when Im finlly able to get it for her. Not to sure what Im gonna get hubby bear yet.I know theres something he wants but they dont really sell untill around summer time. So well see. Step sons birthday Hubby bears planning on going up to see him. That should be nice. Lil mans birthday were gonna be taking him to the Baltomore Aquirum. Im hearing its one of the best ones and since we dont live that far from it I feel its worth the drive for him turning 6.... ~Whimper~

:D Tax time is also right around the corner. Thinking its one of the major things Im looking forward to. With this money we will be getting lots of new shiny things that Ill only be able to play with half of them . The other half is going to be in a corner till we move. :( But thats ok . Just means itll be nice and shiny when we get down there.

Xmas was great. Lil man had a nice load as did Step son(From the pictures). Hubby bear and myself got a few things weve been wanting. But I have to say the best gift was what Hubby bear got me. Got me Vip tickets to go see one of the hottest Country singers in the world. Jason Aldean. Yep yep. Im one lucky girl. Hopefully Ill be able to get off for the weekend so we can make the whole weekend outta it. I would really like to go to this one museum thats down around that area but its still a wait and see type of thing. Gotta talk to me boss.

New years was really nice. I had Hubby bear call me outta work early so we headed to Target to get a couple things then headed home. Lil man made it 30 mins befor the ball droped which is a record for him and hubby bear made it pretty much all the way but passed right after that. Which you have to understand he gets up around 3/4 every morning. So he was beat. Me I was good to go . LMAO .

Things for the surgury are coming along nicely. I have one more apt to make which I will most likely have made by tomorrow.... To hard to talk on phone with lil man. And then theres a couple other test I have to do along with attend all the apts I have made and hopefully I will be approved. If not I dont know what Im going to do. I can honestly say that the reason Im having the surgury is really starting to effect me and I know something needs to be done.

Well think Im off to be super mom and get some cleaning done befor I lay down to read. Yes Im a book worm. Sadly Im getting rid of all my books to replace it with the much needed space saving Kindle. This is trully a sad day because one of my most fav feelings and smells is the the pages of a brand new book. Yes Im a dork but thats ok. Because Im the coolest dork I know.

Tis the season

2009-12-23T09:35:00.001-05:00

Is it just me or is this Christmas one of the best? Ok so maybe my life isnt perfect but right now its damn near close.

Things are moving along nicely with stepson at biomoms. Of course with me being someone who can only put up with so much for only a limited amount of time befor I speak my mind. BioMom and myself have butt heads a couple times. But hey Being the mom for the last almost 7 years when she wasnt . I Think Ive earnd the right to stand up and say something when I think I see something thats wrong. I've earnd that right DAMNIT *Folds arms and stomps foot* But in the end. Hubby bear and myself are going to be the bigger people and reassure stepson every chance that even though he dosnt live with us we still love him. No matter what she says about us to or around him.

Lil man is getting really excited for friday . Man it dosnt seem like its right around the corner. But hey at least it'll be over that much sooner. Yes Im one of those people that hate this hoilday season. Its turned into almost every other hoilday and is all about money and what are you getting and giving. Me I really only get stuff for like the kids and hubby bear and parents. The rest of the family gets yearly photos of Lil man. Because to me this hoilday should be about being thankful for what we already have and who we have in our lives. Not about Oh whos sending me what. Shoot my Birthday was this past sunday and even thought the only one that got me something was my mom(Gifts) Dad( Money ) and Grandma(Money) It was the one of the best birthdays Ive had in a long time untill later in the day. Even if I wouldnt have gotten anything it was nice just knowing everyone was thinking about me and everything was calm. Yes I had to work but hey it was ok . Easy day till Bio mom started her drama and I was ready to walk from everything. Like I said. Theres only so much I can take of something befor I do something. 7 years of putting up with something gives me the right to say Im done with the situation thats causing me stress and nothing but heartbreak. So thats eactlly what I did. Wont go into details but yea the ending of my bday sucked but the rest was great.

Lil man should be happy with his load from santa , Momma and daddy and all the others that love him. Of course he only vagely gets what the whole santa thing is but it should still be a nice day.

His birthday is right around the corner and Hubby bear and myself are planning this great day for him. Baltamore Aquir. Then come home to a new puppy. Were gonna go look at this one place that has pure breed puppys , Yes its pricy but hey pure breeds plus there entire history and all shots and everything taken care of to me its worth the money , To see what type Lil man is intrested in. Itll be a fun day. Reminds me I need to request off work.

Cant believe this year is almost over. Can honesly say it didnt start out the best but its seeming to turn into a great one. Next year Im pretty sure will take for ever to end because of the two MAJOR things going on in the next couple months and right after the new year a year away. But all in all it should be a great one. At least Im hoping. Thats all a girl can do right?

HAPPY HOILDAYS EVERYONE

life as we know it

2009-12-11T10:09:00.002-05:00

Is finally starting to settle into what feels normal. We took StepSon to BioMoms last friday. Went to eat and let him pick what ever he wanted. Then headed up for the 3-4 hour drive. Which I can proudly announce I only slept alittle bit. Once we got there we helped him get settled in and let the boys play together for alittle bit longer while the adults looked over the agreement I had typed and printed up then we all said our goodbyes. Actually leaving without him and knowing it would be months befor seeing him was the hardest for all of us. Even Lil man was rather quiet. So Im thinking deep down he knew what was happening. But we kept reminding ourselves that even though we know its whats best for him it still sucked for us. Its been a full week and even though the sudden shock of not having him here and the little things we missed just at the strangest times. But we have finally grown into a pattern. Both Hubby Bear and Lil man will most likely drive up there for stepsons bday to spend some time with him. I will saddly most likely be working.

I along with Lil mans teachers have noticed that within the last week his speach has improved. He is acting out though. But thinking its just him trying to get use to being the only kid full time in the house. If that makes sense. All of us have pretty much been sick within the last week. I am finally getting over mine.

Think with everything calming down I am finally getting into the Holiday Spirt. Dont know if it had been broken or bruised or was just plain hiding but untill this week my spirt for the holiday was gone. Didnt want anything to do with this time of year. Yes my bday including. But in the last week we have taken lil man to see santa. And Im all up for wraping gifts. We wont have a xmas tree but thats ok. Lil mans still so young that he only really cares about the gifts. We were thinking about getting lil man a bike for xmas but we are going ot get it for his bday. Im just glad we were able to get all the boys gifts already and take stepsons up to bio moms so we know hell have them when he wakes up xmas morning. Thats gonna be another bittersweet day but well try to make it the best. At least we get him next Xmas. Thinking Im gonna try to go find a REALLY cheap tree with the money I was gonna use towards getting a bike. If anything Im gonna go get this really cute cookie plate from Cracker Barrell so we can do cookies and milk for santa. Hope santa likes Soymilk.

BitterSweet

2009-12-01T09:19:00.003-05:00

Thats all that can really describe my life right now. Im not going to be all dramtic right now. Theres no reason for it. It IS my life. And even if right now it is not perfect. I will handle everything with my head held high and the ones that TRULLY love me by my side.

Last week was great for the most part. My grandparents visited from Colo. I had to work pretty much everyday they were here. But hey. Thats what you gotta do when you work for someone else. I enjoyed every moment of being with them. Even if no one was talking . lol . I do have to say that even though I love getting older.... *Cough*I mean now that Im an adult. Its hard to see the people youve loved your entire life growing older. I had to work Thanksgiving but thankfully my family agreed it would be better to wait a day and have me there then have it without me. THANK YOU again for that .Step Son was with Bio moms parents for most of the week.

Friday we will be taking Step son up to Bio Moms to live. It will be hard. Because yes Ive had a really hard time growing a mother son bond with him, Theres many many reasons for this. I have pretty much raised him since I was 17 and him 13 months. And now Im going on 24 and hes going on 8. He is one of my sons. But both Hubby bear and myself know that right now this isnt the place for him. His attention seeking is getting worse and worse and with him going to school and getting me introuble with the state were not sure what else to do. So maybe with bio mom he will get all the attention he needs and wants. I can honestly say that we have had many many talks about whats the right thing for him. And even thought in the end we think him living with her is the right thing it will trully be weird not having him here full time. Yes something that only time with take but it will still be strange. At least we know that she will be able to take care of him. We would not send him to someone or where that was not safe or a good thing for him.

Well it seems each day our family grow smaller and smaller. Hubby bears family has pretty much turned their backs on us for the choice to send stepson to biomoms. There are very few of his family that say that they understand why we are doing this and supporting us. Even if they didnt understand and support this that is no reason for them to turn their backs on us. We knew this choice was going to be hard for some of them , seeing as really the only one they love and want anything to do with is being sent to bio moms. But even if you dont agree with something someone you love is doing . You should still be there for them. Well their choicing not to . And right about now. Even though it sucks it will be fine. They dont want anything to do with us . Well then we wont even bother with them. Hubby bear is really hurting about this but he is seeing their true colors finally. They will know where to find us when and if they wish to try again but we wont be begging them for any type of relationship. Just really feel bad for Lil man.

Life is alittle crazy right now. But how do you ever learn to enjoy the good if you never endure the bad??

What can I say .....

2009-11-20T08:50:00.005-05:00

Yesterday just pretty much sucked all around.

I mean dont get me wrong it had its good points and its great points but pretty much all around it sucked.

Yesterday when I was getting lil man ready for school ,Someone calls my cell. I didnt know the number but it was local and with everything going on with my moms cell and having to call from work alot I thought it was her. Man was I wrong. It turns out that it was Children and youth..... Yep thats right . Those evil little SOB's that can take your children away for the smallest reason. My heart stoped. This is not the first time weve had them called on us. YEARS ago . My step son was stay with his Maternal grandparents and recieved a hand shaped bruise. While he was in custody of them. They called them on us. If that isnt twisted I dont know what is. The lady came to our house and everything was fine. Well this past weekend he stayed at the same grandparents house for the first time in years. and yes tuesday there is another bruise on him. But heres the kicker , They didnt call it on us . THE SCHOOL DID . My step son decided to lie about me telling them I hit him. Yes this is a lie. He will even tell you he lied. But because of the law ANY and ALL signs of child abuse must be reported. I fully respect this law. I am sure it saves MANY children from Situations they chouldnt be in. But this is not one of those cases. I DO NOT hit my children. The most Ive done to stepson since hes been back from his grandparents is given him hugs. I mean if theres something wrong with that please let me know and Ill never hug anyone. Ever . But man.... Lets just say all My patient with him is gone. For a few months now he has been getting worse and worse and hes even doing it to his father now. Which im thankful for so that way hubby bear is finally believeing be when I tell him hes doing these things. I know everyone( hubby bears family ) seems to think this child is perfect but I agree with hubby bear when he says " They all think hes this perfect angel when in reality hes the complete ops" Now dont get me wrong. This child has some good points. He can be a GREAT child when he Wants to. After all of this the guy came. Sall the house and sall how lil man is and Declared it "Unfounded". But just the fact that they were investgating ME . Not us . ME . Is enought that I just cant handle it anymore. Im losing myself because of my step son and I cant handle it anymore. And I think its safe to say that neither can Hubby bear. So on Dec 4th. Step son will be living with bio mom. I feel bad for hubby bear because yes this is his first born and deep down he feels like he Failed him. Which I can totally understand. But he does finally see that step son needs some serious help and he isnt able to get that here. Maybe shell be able to give him what he needs.

Think you can guess after that my nerves were shot and I just wasnt up for anything. I even called off of work stating Family emergancy. Which I think that qualifies. But on a brighter note. I had my Big dr. Apt yesterday, Yes after everything with C&Y. I met with the main Dr. And another lady. They both seem really nice and willing to do what I need done to help me. So as long as I do everything I need to do And they can get what they need done. Im looking at a whole new life. I am still not telling many people but I have made the choice that once I get a set date and This will happen. I will tell everyone. Because I know I will need a strong support group.

Even though my nerves were shot and everything else I did get to spend the evening with Hubby bear which was nice. I know we were pretty much spent after what happend but it was nice to have that amount of time together.

But I guess I should head out and call around to see about apts and everything I need to get done. Lil mans Xmas pics come in today. The proofs looked great so Im hoping the actual Pictures will look even better. Oh yea and tonigth were going to see NEW MOON!!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait ot have some time with no kids but even more to see NEW MOON.

L8ters

Can you ?

2009-11-18T09:02:00.004-05:00

Can you quit life?

I mean keep all the good that you have but just say To hell with it for the bad?

Theres some things coming up that I am nervous about but on the other hand really excited about.

Like this Dr. Apt tomorrow. It in itself is a HUGE step towards something Im hoping to get done. I couldnt be more scared if I tried. Thankfully Hubby bear will be there with me but UnThankfully Cpt.Kia is getting out of school early so he will be tagging along or Hubby bear will have to stay home to get him from school. Either way him getting out early is a huge pain but something we can handle. I am hoping and praying this apt goes well because if it does , It will mean a whole new life for me. No Im not getting divorced or leaving my children. It just means this will be a fresh start for me , myself and I without actually having to take a Fresh Start. Sorry but unlike someone else I know . I will never just up and leave my Son. But yes think its safe to say that Im alittle nervous about tomorrow . At least I get to go into work late. No matter how long the apt will last.

Friday me and hubby bear will be going to see NewMoon. Thanks mom for watching the boys this weekend. I know how much is going on with grandmas arrival the very next day. I have been waiting for this day for a year now. Since the day they anounced they would proceed with the Twilight series and make the next one. And then the one after that. Yes I am a TwiGeek. I love all the books but her Including "The Host" Which is rare because Im not really into the whole SciFyi Thing. Im more fantasy and things like that. But its a great book and even more THERE MAKING IT INTO A MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cant wait.

Next week will be filled with great times as my grandmother that I havnt seen in YEARS will be coming to stay for a week. I know this is just the thing myself and my mom need right now as my mom is going trew a rather hard and emotinal time right now. I wont go into details right now but lets just say Even though we all sall it come I think in some way its Effecting everyone in one way or another. But yes. Even though I will have to work in the evenings I will be able to spend most of the time with her. And even though Im working thanksgiving well be doing a whole big thing the next day. But I think it works out this way because I get paid Time and Half and Grandma wants to watch football on thanksgiving and well.... Simply put... I could care less about football. Other then the guys butts look REALLY good in those pants. Love you hunny.

I am proud to Admit that 99% of my Xmas shopping is done. Got all the kids and hubbys gifts. Hubby has already recieved them. If you know anything about me . You know I suck at waiting to give gifts. ITs even harder when I live in the same house hold. The kids Im fine with waiting because well There kids. But for others its REALLY hard for me to wait. Which is why usally everyone gets them ahead of time. But at least I give everyone a choice as to when they want it. Usally they say just wait .

Theres some stuff going on with Hubby bears family. Some words were said to us that were rather hurtful and plain just pissed us off. I sent out a email to most of my family . Basiclly to update everyone on whats going to be happening within the next couple months with the move and Cpt.Kia moving to Bio Moms . And then there was a Xmas wishlist for those that had asked for it or wanted it. Well lets just saying Without having all the facts a family member we thought we could always count on Attacked us and pretty much shuned us. I will not be going to this family memebers home for a LONGGGGGGGGGGGG time. We knew some people would think ill of our choice but the way she handled it was Wrong. But its Fianlly clear to hubby bear what Im been telling him all along how they've favord one child over the other. But thats ok. I dont need them and neither does Lil Man.

Anyways. Guess Im done ranting and raving . Just wanted to give everyone a kindof update.
Its the hoilday season so Im expecting life to get crazy but I can hope and pray its the good kinda crazy

Wow

2009-10-28T08:53:00.003-04:00

Ok so wow.... Guess we can take that statement about wanting to post more often and just trow it out the window. I have been trying harder to do it . I visit my blog Daily to read others blogs but everytime I go to click on " New Post" I pause trying to figure out what I would write about that wouldnt bore the complete crap out of anyone.

But thats the whole thing ..... Life has been somewhat calm. Nothing to large going on. Of course I have things in the works. But untill I know for sure I will not be writing about them.

Untill we know for sure about said issue above plans to move back are still on. This gets me giddy all over with excitement. But let me tell you something. There are some things and places up here in Yankie Land that I will trully miss. I know this and have accepted this as the fact that you cant have your cake and eat it too. Its ok because I know Ill be back to visit . And visit I will. Maybe not that often but Lil mans and Hubby bears family is up here so of course we will be back from time to time and in those times I will partake on the things I have missed so much.

Everytime I go to a store I see something and im like " Ohhh maybe I could get that and keep it in the pkg and just take it with me. Like we all know that this is the only place the stores are. Yep thats right. Deep down Im a pack rat. Hate it but its my lil secret. But Ive made a goal to not take anything with us down there that we dont need. Because trust me . We have a whole shed of boxes that quite frankly half of the stuff we could probly get rid of.

Halloweens this weekend and Im off for trick or treat. Im excited about this. I think the boys are too. I wounder what type of candy well get. I wont be dressing up friday but I will be saterday for work. Im going as a Texas Longhorn Fan. And in the Yankie Philly fans I know Ill get yelled at . But everyone I work with think its a cute idea. So Im going with it. Dont count on pictures because right now I am in no mood for pictures.

I guess thats about it.

The winds of change are a blown.....

2009-10-11T12:14:00.002-04:00

Yep thats right. Things are most deff going to be diffrent in my life here very shortly. Ok so not that shortly but hey considering how long they could have taken its a short time.

As I sit here fighting the little demons that have taken over my body forcing everything I eat back into the world they have just left. I would like to inform the people of the internet that within the next year this Misplaced Texan crawling along the lands with the yankies will once again be a TEXAN!!!! Yep thats right you wounderful people. In the past couple of weeks my little family has taken fate into their own hands and are going to be changing things around yet again.

I will be taking lil man with me to texas. Staying with a dear dear friend and her little family which I have known for years upon years. I will be going to the course she is now taking to finally enter into the medical feild. Even is its one of the lowest members in the feild I will still finally be entering it and then from there see if I want to move up. A dear dear friend of mine that is much more like a sister then a friend will be watching lil man while Im in classes. Hubby bear isnt too trilled with this fact because indeed the friend who will be doing the watching is the sister of someone from my past . Which is too remain in my past.... And then I will be working in the medical field as well as lil man will be in a school system I trust because well simply put its one I went to . And hey ... I didnt turn out too bad. Granted if I were to ever go on that smarter then a 5th grader show I would totatlly flunk out. Hubby bear on the other hand would pass with flying colors . Really need to see about getting him on there. While me and lil man are down there hubby bear will be staying up here in yankie land just to insure we have a stable income while Im down HOME persuing my dream. Then once I have enterd yet again the ranks of the working people and save up enought he will be joining me. This is a very hard thing for him to do because he has been a yankie his entire life. AND NO HUBBY BEAR S.C. DOES NOT COUNT. On a plus note for hubby bear .... Hell be hearing a lot more of my accient since it only comes out when Im around others with them . And hell be able to grill all year long and not get looked at like he should be forced to go visit the nice men that give all their nice new friends very stylish coats with all the pretty belts and shiny things.

This is a bitter sweet for us . It will be pretty much the first time Ive lived longer then a 20 min drive from my momma. This scares the crap outta be because Ive always know even if I dont live with her if I ever need her shes just right there. But hopefully me moving with lil man will finally give her that push shes been looking for to fulfill her dream of moving back. true, Shes going to be moving longer then 20 mins from where ill be moving but it will still be closer then 26 hour drive. Another thing that is scarry is while im down there befor hubby bear moves down Ill trully be alone. Yes Im very thankful to have my great friends there to help but still be on my own.

Even with all the scary things Ive mentioned and kept silent theres so much good thats going to come from this. All of us trully believe this is going to be the right thing for us. Maybe it will and maybe it wont but well never know untill we try it. And if we fail then at least we can say we tried.

Just a quickie....

2009-09-24T09:16:00.005-04:00

Ok maybe it will and maybe it wont but . If your reading this then your intrested in what I have to say already right?

As I sit here listening to Greek( A new fav) Season 2 episode 2 . Im thinking about how I have not posted in awhile. But but but befor you give me grief theres good reasons. Life has pretty much been hell the last couple days and befor that was a couple of great days. I guess its true that you have to take the good with the bad. This last week was SO true to that saying. Ok so brfor last thursday I had just been busy. Work. Kids. Yada Yada Yada.

Couple weeks ago I finally was able to get my new phone. I HEART IT. Its such a great phone and camera and I love that its a touch phone. Ive gotten a couple new pics with it . Which I will be posting in just a couple moments. While I was out and about with my loveable hubby bear and kids we had to waste time befor the phone store opend so we went into petsmart. This might have been a bad idea but hey I really wanted to go and we really had to waste time around that area. So we go in and right when we walk in they have a station set up because guess what day it happend to be when we just happend to need to waste time. If you guessed ADOPTION DAY then you win a cookie. Now all you have to do is drive to the store and buy one. Yea so as soon as we walked in there were these 4 week old kittens. They were sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute. And of course I wanted one. When I fell in love with one and heard the price was something I could manage I had to apply for this loveable lil guy to become part of our already twisted family. They told me in 2 weeks they would be able to go home with people and well were going on the 2nd week and I am anxiously awaiting a call. I really Really need to clean my house. And like almost everything else I have put it off untill the last min. But of course Ive been busy.

Last week was alright I guess. Just normal day to day stuff. Then got a text from my little brother , Whom Ive never met for reason that are my moms alone. But having him live accross country... Literlly , it was hard to meet other then on computer and phone. Then I got the text telling me he would be 3 hours from me. Of course I jumped on the chance and drove down too meet him. I think we would both agree that even thought it was the first offical meeting , it was like weve been apart of each others lives our entire lives. Even thought it almost didnt happen and the visit was only 2 hours long I am so glad that we had this chance. I know Im not a big talker and it was nerve wracking at the same time but it was great. Finally having that one person I knew was missing, finally fully apart of my life. We have soming in the works that might bring him closer to us but nothing set in stone first . But enjoy the pictures. Dont mind me.... I look like crap but I swear I looked cutier in the morning befor Wind got to me....

After that great friday Saterday was almost as great but hey Friday was still better. Saterday I finally got to go to one of Cpt.KIA's Flag Football games. It was ok. Not really sure who one. But Im thinking it was the other team. They were alittle better. Lil man enjoyed playing on this huge dirt hill with the other kids. It was fun to watch. Then later in the afternoon all of us gatherd up and went to a drive in thats really close to us. Thank God Iwas prepared with everything we would need because it was FREZING! befor the movies it was fine just alittle chilly but once the movies started and the the sun was gone it got so cold that after getting everything out we got everything back into the car and hurrdled in to the warmth. Got to see Up for the kids and Transformers 2 for mommy and daddy . Weve been wanting to see this since weve heard they were making another one and a bigger point in us wanting to see it is that part of it was filmed in our area. Yep thats right.

Sunday was horriable horriable day. For awhile now weve been dealing with Cpt.KIA being very agressive towards lil man. Now I know boys will be boys and their brothers fightings going to happen. But this stuff was beyound fighting. This stuff Cpt.KIA was doing could have seriously hurt lil man. And it was going to tear this family apart even though it was something neither hubby bear and myself wanted. But in the end of it all . lil mans saftey is what comes first to me. Always will be. But we had agreed to terms that seemed to fit everyone. Then for alittle while it seemed like things had calmed down. untill sunday. When he tought we wernt doing anything he did something mult times to lil man that would have been much worse if I wouldnt have caught him and stoped the situation instantly. At that point and time I was done. I would not allow my child to continue to be in danger from his own brother just to keep my marriage. Ove the next couple days we went from spliting up , me moving to tx with john, Cpt.Kia being sent to Bio mom. And anything in between. Thankfully weve come up with a solution that seems to make everyone seem alittle bit more better. Cpt.Kia will be going into theraphy. If by the end of the school year he has not changed and continues to do these things then he will be going to live with bio mom. I know this is a hard choice for hubby bear to agree to but at least were trying everything befor just giving up. But he knows that something has to change. And that even if its not what you want you always need to do whats best for the child. And right now we think this is the best choice and I know that hubby bears familly will always hate me if Cpt.Kia goes to live with bio mom seeing as all but one pretty much favor him over lil man but they dont know whats going on behind closed doors. They dont know the danger one child is over the other . They can judge me all they want but I know what needs to be done and Ill do what ever I need to , to get it done. If that makes me a bad person then so be it but Maybe if they get informed they will understand why these things will be in motion.

Yea the last couple days flat out sucked. but I think sunay and yesterday were the worse in a while. Yesterday wasnt toooo too bad for the most part. just a couple little things here and there. Had an OBGYN apt and then waiting all day to hear about the surgury my grandfather was undergoing. Other then that it was great. The apt ment great and grandfathers surgury was great. Nothing wrong happend . It just is what it is.

Ok its time to get john ready to send him off to school and hopefully get some cleaning done... Not sure how much though seeing as I didnt sleep very well last night ... and have work later. Maybe Ill do a couple thigns then save the rest for tomorrow when Im off.

I just dont know...

2009-09-10T08:38:00.003-04:00

What the right thing is anymore.

Ok so maybe thats alittle dramatic. But its true. Im not sure of things right now. School has started back up and I love love love having some alone time durning the day where I dont have Lil man climbing all over me. Litterally. But at the same time That whole issue with me and hubby bear having a cell marriage has only gotten worse. Yes Ive quit my part time job , Which was only friday nights, But even with having friday nights we still had food shopping and football practice to go to so all in all we didnt really add any relationship time . And that 3 mins in passing where we passed the children off from one to the other is now gone. We dont even have 3 mins to say hi , hug and kiss and then bye. Now its all trew texting. Because lets face it Im not a phone person and now neither is hubby. Ive been tired for awhile of having a cell phone marriage and its getting worse. Just not sure what the right step is next for us. I love hubby bear but Im tired of having just a roommate and a cell hubby. Guess time will figure it out for me.

On a much lighter note. The fair was a blast. Everyone had a great time. Of course I forgot my camera. OPps. Oh well. Spent more time actually enjoying the time then worring about trying for the life of me to get good pictures out of a crappy camera. But we did get one good pic of lil man on a ride.

I think its cute. The boys were finally tall enought to ride some of the adult rides. Which were a blast. Of course they didnt like all of them but at least they tried them. Right?

To prove my point about the boys being the same height. While we were at the Fair we had to mesure the boys and found out Lil man is 44 1/2 inchs and Cpt KIA is 45. Now anyone want to argue that point with me?

Tuesday was the first day of school. It went really really smoothly. We got up early had a nice breakfast. Ok so it was only frozen waffles . But it was a treat for the boys. Got the boys dressed. Even though lil man goes Hours after Cpt.Kia Its easier to just get them ready at the same time. Then for the very time I got to take them to school. Of course Cpt.Kia was first since his school started first. It was nice seeing him going to school and excited and everything. His class brought back really nice memories of when I was in school. Man I miss thouse days. Left him with him teacher then went home with john for awhile. When it was time to take lil man we were out and about . I had met his teacher the week befor at the IEP so it was nice to see her again. We were early so we walked around the school for a bit till be found the Gym. Played in there for alittle bit untill his teacher came and got him. I went to get a hug but he gave me a high five and said bye. I wanted to cry. But I smile and waved bye .

I of course got pictures. But it turns out that when my momma did a great job clearing all the evils out of my computer she might have deleated something I need to upload the pictures to my computer. At least thats the only thing I can think of. But its ok. Ill go to walmart and print off the pictures then scan them. I hate my camera anyways because its old and dosnt really work anymore . Ive been planning on buying another one but been trying to push it off for as long as I could. But now it looks like Im gonna have to . But its ok. Because I need a new cell phone so Ive been wanting to get the Behold which is a cell and camera in one. I will sooner or later look into digi cameras and find one I really like and save for it but for now the phone will work .

The countdown begins....

2009-09-05T10:42:00.003-04:00

School starts for both Lil Man and CPT.KIA on tuesday. I couldnt be more trilled and the boys are so young their still trilled about it too. Last week I went to a IEP meeting with LilMans teachers and they are clearly in love with my oh so young child. Beams proudly. They mostly had great things to say about him. And I believe are very happy that hubby bear and myself have made the choice to put Kinder off another year so that way he can stay in her class. And the greatest news that Ive gotten in a great time. Something my young son has had since the age of 6 months is no longer going to get. Yep thats right . He will no longer be given Physical Theraphy. For the lady says he is doing perfect and even though she would love to keep seeing him that there would be no reason for it. I almost wanted to cry. His entire life weve delt with physical delays that I was honestly beliving that this would be for his entire life. Yes it was a proud moment for me. Of course once again while we, Myself and both of my children, I got asked Once again if my children where twins. I dont know what it is about this question that makes me want to laught but everytime I hear it two points come to mind.
1. Their 2 years apart
2. I only gave birth to one of them.

Sadly Hubby bears family has a dawf gene in their family. Something that Cpt.Kia has taken on. Which surprises me because Bio Mom is rather tall . And Lil man has taken after all the men in my family and is rather tall. So they meet right in the middle. I find it funny at times.

Last night was a bitter sweet night for Hubby bear and a very exciting night for me. Last night We were outside grilling and a lil girl that Cpt.Kia knows from the buss stop and lives basiclly right behind us was out playing so Cpt.Kia went and played with her. We kept lil man with up so he wouldnt start fights . Well last night was the first time Cpt.Kia went over to a lil friends house to play. Hubby bear feels unwanted . but Even thought I can understand why hes feeling these things Im excited for Cpt.Kia because my fondest memories of being a child, Other then memories of my family. Is when I started to go out and play with friends and not have "grown ups eyes on us" We never did anything bad but it was just nice. And now my own child is going trew this. I know it will be awhile befor lil man is ready to just go out alone but thats ok leaves him to myself alittle bit longer. And to clearify he wasnt trully out alone . He was just at the little girls house and her mom was home and we can see right to their house from our windows.

Other then tuesday being really exciting day in my house hold Monday Im gonna be finally doing something Ive wanted to pa Since I moved to YANKIE LAND. Go to this huge fair that they have a week out of the year. Everyyear weve either had no money or no sitter. Well this year I have the money and the boys are old enought to go with us . I cannot wait.

http://www.allentownfairpa.org/

Sadly Nana will not be able to go to their first Fair. But Im sure there will be LOADS of pics taken. As well as first day of school Seeing as Im taking both of them to their first day . Something Ive never been able to do befor.

Nana is going away to our homeland. The South.
Its a bitter sweet thing for me. Im so glad mom gets to go bad to see family and bring me back lots of pictures . But Its sad because I miss home ALOT. Along with the family she will be seeing. Im excited that she gets to go but just wish I could go with. Hopefully soon Ill be able to bring my lil family down and introduce them into the life I once called mine. Sooner then later would be grate. I will be calling you tomorrow mom befor work. But If your already on your way when I call have a safe and great flight and let me know you made it safely and see you in 2 weeks.

Im gonna go chill on the couch befor I have to get ready . Talk to yall later.

ARGE

2009-09-01T21:45:00.002-04:00

I guess thats all I can really say about today . Today has been.... To put it nicely... CRAP. One of those days you just want to go back to bed and start all over again.

I dont know why mother nature likes playing games but the 1st of september and its already freaking cold. So of course hubby bear being the great family man he was and not wanting his family to freze after he left to work turned the ac off. Yea that little break the ac got from the time he turned it off and the time I tryed to turn it on after turning the heat off , Which we finally got fixed this week, Well lets just say the stupid ac froze. Yep thats right. Our central ac FROZE. How?!? Oh well Thankfully it was beautiful out and we were able to open the windows. In fact I have our front door open since the screen door has a screen in the middle of the glass which is really helping right now. Im already seeing a sleepless night for me since I have to be curled up under a blanket to sleep. Oh well. Guess if this is the worst night this year Ill take it .

The boys have been taken over by devils ..... Please please please sweet angels go find my beautiful loving kind children durning the night and replace them in their sleeps. Ill owe you forever. Please? Its been one of those days where they think they run the house and were more then happy to do everything other then what I told them to do. Yea. Its been a ball of fun up in here yall.

Finally got the speedometer in my car fixed. HAHA thankfully. Now I dont have to keep really goot track of my speed anymore..... .:Cought:. I mean Not like I have to look anyways because Im perfect and I never break the law..:Cought:. And yay I dont have anymore broken plastic glass thingy infront of the consol. I always hated that but it was broken for a good reason. The freakin bus driver was drivin off with CPT.KIA so Of course it makes sence to Trow a cell onto the consol dash and smash the plastic glass thingy while speeding off and cussing. See my hubby bear know just the right thing to get me going .

Not to much else has been going on. Wasnt able to get all this junk taking up space in my living room into the shed. It will happen soon. I just know it .With hubby bear taking my car in then picking up one of my checks to him doing the oil on his car and be finally having a good turn out of food from the grill there was just no time. Maybe on Laybor Day. Both me and hubby bear are off all day long so we should be able to find 45 mins to get this taken care of. If not itll just continue to be a ever pressent fixture in my rather large living room. Im honestly not sure how Ill feel about it once its gone. Im so use to it that itll be weird not having it .

Ok gonna try to go catch up on one of my new semi fav shows . Greek . Nite all .

Hmph

2009-08-31T00:19:00.002-04:00

I dont get it.... How can I be so tired but yet SOOOO awake all at the same time? Seems alittle strange to me but to hell with it. It gives me a chance to so some over needed bloging.

Past week has week just like any other. I did finally speak with my boss from the part time job. I pretty much told her I would most likely not be back but would keep intouch with her incase things changed down the road. In the back of my mind knowing damn well . That wont be happening.

I havnt been feeling the greatest this past week. I dont know what it is but my body was just not feeling up to par. Side note. What on gods green earth does up to par mean? I only say it because its been said so many times around me its just kinda stuck with me. I could understand up to perfect or something like that but isnt Par something regarding to golfing?

Yes, I was born a blond.

SILENCE!!!! I KILL YOU!!!!

Cpt.KIA's First foot ball game was cancled due to Crappy weather the night befor leaving the feild ... Unusable. To say the least. And I was not really up for sittin in the drizzle for how ever long it would have been. But I would have to support him. Sadly they reset the date to wensday and of course .... Ill be at work. Thats ok. Hubby bear will take lots of pictures for me.

Ok another reason Im glad that it got cancled. I know its sad to say but because of no game me and hubby bear were kindly able to go to the tattoo and pircing show I wanted to go to. Thanks momma for watching the boys for us. I got this new tattoo, And even thought theres a couple Itty Bitty Tiny little things Im gonna change when the times right... I love it . The meaning behind it and who its for. I might post a picture of it but all but one of my tattoos are just mine. And I like this but I love this one so much I just might have to . And plus its not like itll never be in any pics of me. It is on my shoulder for goodness shake.

My next day off were finally , after 7 months of living here, going to get all the junk outta my living room and into the shed. HAHA I wont have a clue what to do with the huge empty space in the room. SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe Love you hubby bear.

Ok so maybe I should get some sleep. But how do you get sleep when your mind and half your body is fully awake and just part of you is tired. I know that if I dont got to bed soon ill be crabby tomorrow. And I have a couple things planed for the morning.... not sure what they are yet but yea. Know I want to do somethign other then vedge on the couch.

Otay you lovely people out there. think Im gonna go .

UNCLE DAVID!!??!! love you and thank you for the lovely comments. Still waiting for my paiting. Think I should get two now. One for the living room one for my bedroom??? Huh what do you think?

Its all the same

2009-08-24T10:38:00.003-04:00

Ok So maybe Im listening to a song right now but it pretty much explains my life. Not too much has changed since the last time I have written. Friday night I pretty much had , had it with being married trew texting. So much that I told hubby bear I didnt want to do it anymore. Thankfully we took the time and discussed the issues and know that its not what either of us want but infact something were willing to work on even more. So going into work Friday I knew it would be my last day . I knew that I am not able to be wounder woman. Working two jobs and making my family and marriage work. Its not possiable. I mean yes if I Had to then of course I would. With no protest on my side. But Im bringing in enought money with my full time job to cover all of the bills that I have taken on since starting back into the work force.

So I am sadly waiting untill I put the boys down for " Relaxation time " befor I can and give her the bad news. I hate doing things like this. I hate quiting from anything but I know when enought is enought of one thing that I have to step away. I know what situation this is going to leave her in but her having to find someone to cover my shifts untill she gets someone new is alot simpler then more issues in my personal life. It still sucks But what else can I do?

So Im starting something new. Im gonna start netrisystem. I have never been tiny. Ever. That was something Ive always delt with" Being the bigger friend" I was fine with that because even thought I ate what I wanted I was always doing something when I was younger. From Walking everywhere to swiming and skating. I was hardly home as a teen and I think my parents enjoyed this. Of course there were times I was home and didnt want to do anything but common. Thats everyone. But now that Im older and have children and work full time I never really have the time to do things like that. Not to mention I have a car and my son hates anybig pools of water . A fact Im hoping to change in the near future. So in result of this I have not really been able to lost the weight that I have (Fought all the way ) gained. From Joinging Gyms, Taking diet pills such as alli and Acai. To crash dieting. I lost quite a bit about a year ago. I loved the way I felt then once we moved into our own place it slowly sneaked back. Then I was left woundering what the best route would be. So I tried somethings once more to have no results at all. Think my bodys trying to tell me it will do almost everything once but not again. This is my last chance befor something drastic must be done. I know Im not healthy like this. Im awear of this along with how I hate looking in the mirror. I feel like its someone else looking back at me. That is one of the worst feelings when you look in the mirror and you know the person you are is traped under something else. So Im doing this for me . To make me healiter. I am praying to god it helps. Even if I dont get to my goal weight Im hoping I lost some of this extra skin that has formed my outter layer. Everyone keep me in your prayers please. And Ill keep everyone up to date.

Howdy

2009-08-21T10:11:00.002-04:00

I really need to get better at writing more often. But with me working so much . By the mornings all I want to do is check my emails and then curl up on the couch. I need to get more active and start doing more things. So Hopefully Ill stick to my new plan. I doubt it but its a nice thought right? Go to bed right after I get home. Wake up early get alittle cleaning done then computer and then do some walking while I watch my shows. Like I said, I dont see me getting it done every day . But its at least a plan.

Work has been going good. I have made up my mind what Im going to do about my parttime job( 1 day a week ) Maybe today or next week Im going to talk to the lady and tell her that Ill stay on till she can find someone new but Im gonna have to quit. With both hubby bear and myself working 6 sometimes 7 days a week and only seeing each other for 3 mins in passing its really starting to put a strain on my marriage and family. I know its only 1 extra day off but its something we need. My marriage is WAY more important to me then a job that only pays me less then 100 for two weeks. I hope shell understand.

Hey everyone do me a huge one. Scroll down and see that little add thingy .... Click on it. Youll help me get a pay check without having to do anything more then going to look at a site. Please???????

See im not to proud to beg.

Im gonna start working on a new music player. Ive noticed theres so much new music that I want to have on there but never have the time to do it . So Ill probly do a couple songs a day untill its finished.

Im really excited about something. I just sall last night a preview for a movie coming out thats based on one of my fav books. And yes I am talking about New moon but thats not the one I sall last night . This one is called Lovely Bones. And yes its been made into a movie. I cannot wait to see it .

Next saterday is CPT.KIA's First football game. Its pretty exciting Hes really enjoying football but he had to get moved to the the brand new starts. The beginigers. Which is fine because with him never having played befor and with him being small for his age it was just the better fit. I had off last monday so I was able to go to the practice. And I trully believe this team is better for him because it helps him understand how to play alittle more.

After the game Im gonna try to go to this huge Tattoo & pircing show thats happening. Maybe get me a new tattoo. Not sure yet. But its something I am really hoping to get to go to. Just depends what time the games over and if we can find someone to watch the boys. Because I would really like to take hubby bear so he can finally get to see what its like to get a tattoo and push him into getting one hopefully soon. Guess will see.

Hubby bears been very sweet . He knows how stressed weve both been and how never seeing each other was really starting to get to me. Ok ill be honest. Having a marriage trew texting SUCKS! And I dont know what to do about it at this point. But he brought me subway at dinner last night and then when I got home there were beautiful roses waiting for me and my fav candy mike and ikes and he says theres still one more thing but I have yet to find it .

Alrighty yall think its time for me to get my lil ones some lunch and work on this music player alittle bit. See yall soon

GO CLICK ON THE AD!!!!!!

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What can I say????

2009-08-14T23:05:00.002-04:00

I know I know its been awhile. Well a week anyways . Last sunday was kinda hectic. almost right after I posted my last one got here the cable guy got here. I think of him as a twin to Mr.Clean. Cutie but yea . Cutie or not Im married. I can look just no touchy touchy. But I had to leave right after Hubby bear got home and headed down to my 2nd fav place to get clothes( My 1st is too far to just go on a spur of the moment thing) Went and got some jeans. I only had one pair that fit really good but the pattern didnt go with pretty much anything I had. So I guess now you can say Im back down to 1 . Im gonna try going again ASAP because they have a sale right now buy one get one for $10. So yea gift ideas for me family HINT HINT gift cards to Debs or Torrid. Torrid if possible. New , trendy , clothes would be great to help with this weight that Im slowly putting back off. Guess that happends when I work almost every day and really only eat at most 2 meals.

After that trip to the mall I headed over to holiday hair and got a deep conditioner .... Man I needed it . I felt so relaxed untill I had to leave and sall it had started to rain. Yet Again. So hurryed home to the wounderful sounds of Cable. Man oh man. I think who ever invinted the DVR desirves to be a millioniar. Its the greatest , ok one of the greatest , things in the world. I record all the stuff I want to watch and watch it in the mornings and its like Im watching it live. Yep Yep . Ive been spending most of my time catching up on my shows.

Headed out to Hershey for the concert. Lets us say 20 mins after we left it started to pour. And the concert was outside. Yea so we get to hershey and its still raining like cats and dogs so we agree to go somewhere other then the concert parking and wait it out. Promply at 6 it ended and we headed over to the site. Find a decent spot and head up to get in the never ending line. only to be turned away because we couldnt take umbelas into the concert. WHAT?!?! We couldnt take it into the site for some unknown reason. yet again we head out to the car and return . Did I mention I was wearing heals??? Findally we get in and get to watch them set up for the concert. cool to watch and the guys next to us were pretty cool. Then the opening act started. and OMG THEY SUCKED . The best song they did was a cover song. We dont even know who they were but hey out of all the crowd they had a grand total of 6 people standing up cheering for them. Think they need to go back to New Zeland or take some tips. When the opening act was over I was starting to get really worried that the concert Ive always wanted to go to would SUCK. But let me tell you this. The seats were great and creed was the best concert Ive ever been to.They put on such a good show its hard to explain. Deff worth the money and DEFF something I would do all over again. Even sit trew the crappy opening band. And thats saying something. Ok I have to give them some credit . They had a good beat and if they would have never said a word they would have been half decent. But common . For creed? they should have had someone better.

I guess you can tell I had a great time with the concert . The rest of the weeks been stressful. CPT.KIA is getting really hard to handle and I can see things changing for my little family in the near future if things dont change. I dont really want to go into it right now but when and if the time comes to talk about it Im sure Ill let yall know . Alrighty everyone I think Im going to surf the web for alittle befor bed. See yall soon

Today is the day

2009-08-09T08:53:00.003-04:00

That my dear old friend cable returns to my family. Yep thats right people as I sit here and write to who ever actually reads this I am waiting for what we all have grown so fondly to call, The Cable Guy. Think Jim Carey will show up on my front porch? I do hope so. Wouldnt that be a story to tell. I was alittle worried that because of what seems to be a downpour when I awoke this morning he would not show. But greatly the rain has slowed and it seems all will be ok. At least I hope . So from the hours of 8am-12pm someone over the age of 18 will be quietly awaiting his arrival. Which reminds me I have to go out to the shed and grab one of the tvs. Weve only had one tv in our house for what seemed awhile. But were thinking it might be nice to have one in our room so when we are both home and want to watch 2 diffrent things.... there you go. Were also getting DVR. Which is a god send because with me working nights I wont be home to really watch anything that is on. I thought this was a rip off. I was gonna be paying all this money for something Im never gonna be able to enjoy myself. But greatly with the new device of a DVR I can record and have the family watching something totally diffrent all on the same tv. What a world we live in. Kinda makes me thinks of that Brad Paisley song Welcome to the Future. If you havnt heard it yet. Go to youtube and listen to it.

Well I guess you could say Im alittle nervous for tonight. Today is the day that I get to go see my all time fav band in concert. Now this in itself is not whats making me nervous. Two other things are. like the fact I think its an outdoor concert and its raining and the fact for the last week hubby bears been stressed out about work on of course this means stress between us and so forth weve been *bickering* the past few days. We both know each other loves the other but after 6 1/2 years yea... guess you can say we know what buttons to push when we want to . I know we can get trew anything because we have. But yea think Im more nervous about the rain and outside then anything. Maybe should have hubby bear call and see about that befor we leave. Would suck after all I went trew to get this day off is it got cancled.

Im debating on something. About a month after we moved into our house we removed all the plants from the little garden area and about a month of having nothing I planted sunflower and sweetpea seeds. Ok to say the least. I do not have a green tumb. Never have probly never will. Well when I planted these I figured there would be a couple small plants and it would be easy to take care of. No it seems like over night these huge things took over my garden. To the point you cant see dirt. Veins( which I have no clue where they came from ) are taking over everything. 10 foot sunflowers and leves from plants I didnt even plant are everywhere. We had two sunflower stalks but one was leaning too far over and we couldnt walk on our sidewalk. Guess we could have used the ramp but were not smart like that. Soo hubby bear broke it in half and added it to the pile of unknown that is called our garden. Well now we have the tallest one starting to really lean. I was kinda wanting to see how tall it would get but it dosnt seem like its gonna get any taller. Or shorter. Too take down or let it fall? that is the question.

And yes it is as tall as our house. And if you look carefully. You can see hubby bears new car.
Not the greatest picutre but wanted to show the two diffrent colors the sunflowers are.

wow

2009-08-04T08:46:00.002-04:00

What can I say??? Ive been a very tired girl. Working two jobs gives me very little time at home .... Well where Im actually awake. Its clear that lil man is missing me but I think Cpt.KIA enjoys not having me around . Thats ok. Feelings mutial most the time. Dont take that for what it dosnt mean. I love him but its clear already were going to have Major issues in the seeable future.

In the last two weeks Ive had one day off. I get two days off a week from my full time but one of those days goes towards my part time. It sucks but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Right? Its ok. The way is nice . Biweekly im seeing about 700$ which is a crap load more then what I was making befor the jobs. Zilch. So to go from 0-1400 for a month is a great inprovement. If only I didnt have a crap load of debt , Ok not a crap load but a handful , and trying to get into another house , where I had the money just to blow on my kids and hubby bear. Yea a girl can dream.

Im going to the concert sunday . It was a close call. The dates got mixed up at work and I was ment to work on the 9th. I know its silly but I came close to breaking down a couple times that day. A sweet lady I work with has agreed to switch her saterday for my sunday . I had to tell a little white lie to get this day but I dont think the boss would take to kindly to me requesting off weeks into just starting . If it hadnt been for something that was really importnat to me then I would have worked no problem. If this lady wouldnt have agreed I would have still worked just been very upset about the whole thing. I think hubby bear knew how upset I was because the night I found out he showed up at my work with the boys and brought me something to eat. It was just what I needed. Thank you hubby bear. You trully dont know how much that ment to me.

My two year wedding Aniversary is coming up. Man , it still is hard to believe I got married yet alone have been for two years. Of course its in like 3 months but still. I have been engaged lets just say a couple times. (4 I was young and in love aka stupid) But even though I had planed weddings and though about being with one person for the rest of my life. I never thought of myself as being the wifey type. To put it simple . The idea of marriage scared the shit outta me. I had seen way too many people that were close to me that had been married and to me seemed right , fail. I wasnt going to put myself in the chance to be another one. And even trew the last two years hubby bear and myself have fallen appart and back together it seems were finally on the right path. We know whats important to us and have the same goals and are willing to work very hard to get them. I can honestly say that in the start I never sall us ending up here. Of course every girl wants to be "the one" that changes a guy . But this time . I was. And Im very proud of it .

Cpt.KIA's Pee Wee football starts next week. the plan was for me to take him while hubby bear stayed home with lil man but yea . Since Im working like I am that wont be happening. It sucks but I think Cpt.KIA will enjoy having his dad there more then his momma. Now maybe if it was his Momma L. then it would be diffrent. Like I said . We have issues but we do love each other.

Well the boys lost all of their toys. Yes. The only thing remotly close to a toy in their room is sleeping stuffed animals. The ones they sleep with. Thats it . They never played with them and all they wanted to do was fight so after countless times of warning them that they needed to stop fighting they lost them. And when we were removing all their toys we realized they had broken their closet doors. So yea since weve lived here( 6 /7 months) they have broken their bedroom door( we use baby gates there now) and both their closet doors. Well yea guess its pretty easy to say they lost XMas gifts from us too. We explained that because they broke stuff they money we were gonna use on gifts will now go to that. Their ok with it . They know the'll still get stuff from family and santa. Not like they will play with the toys or anything. hubby bear and myself have agreed to get Lil man a couple things since Cpt.KIA will get things from Momma L. ( Bio mom) So to be fair well get him one or two things. And plus I think since CPT.KIA got a bike for his 5th xmas( that he still cant ride.) were going to get lil man something like a jeep or something. ( if hes good lol )

Should have posted sunday

2009-07-28T09:18:00.004-04:00

Morning lovely people of the web. I Dont think anyone other then 3 or 4 people actually read this but hey . If they do then here ya go. I had been planning since saterday to write this blog. Was planning it for sunday but my lovely hubby bear let me sleep in then we watched a couple of episodes of Prison Break then I had to go to work.

Ive realized why I miss being home at nights. Its the little moments I miss . The ones you can always look back on and smile . Seeing this picture makes me think of this point.

Work is going good. Very tired but its nice to be out and about again. And plus today is my very first pay day from my new job. I know its not going to make me a millionair but hey . Its one step closer to getting debt taken care of and being better off. Im going in for 10 hours today because for about 2 hours of it were having this saftey thingy that I have to go to . Hubby bears coming home early for it and everything.

I got a nice lil surprise saterday. For the past couple months ive been on a new path with trying to form a new bond with my father. And so far so good. I think it will work better that were both adults instead of me a child and not really caring about family. My friends use to be my family. I guess it happends to everyone. When your a kid all you want to do is get as far away from your family as possiable but when you age alittle and become more awear of everything thats when you really want your family. Ok maybe not everyone but everyone I know this has happend to. So maybe this time will be much much better then all the other times weve tried.

Well I got a nice lil treat saterday befor I had to get ready for work. We were just chilling out ... Me being tired like always will do that to us. When Hubby bear went outside to do something and found a package on the porch. My dad had sent me a lil care pakage from home. I guess he heard it in my voice how much I miss Texas. So I got some goodies .

I Really enjoyed getting this stuff.Its nice to get lil things from home. Even if it makes me miss it even more. But I dont think I would like the heat right about now. There was also a magnet and card that was not shown. Dad if your reading this I want to say thank you . And I do plan on calling but was going to wait till sunday. If your not reading this . Then I guess Ill talk to you on sunday lol .

Nothing to exciting

2009-07-23T10:11:00.002-04:00

Nothings really been going on lately for me to jump right on to blogger and post about. Getting back into the swing of working 50 hour weeks . Im not liking this only having one day off things but for now its whats gotta get done. Maybe when I get a couple bills caught up and have alittle more free money then I will leave the part time job I have to be able to have two days off with my family.

Even thought my alli has worked for me in the past right now it dosnt seem to want to help. But I cant really put the blame on those lil blue pills. With me being so tired I havnt really been up to counting fat and calories. So I havnt really been sticking to my diet. But once I start bringing in money from both jobs. I plan on doing nutrisystem. Ive always heard great things about them and me and hubby bear have been looking into them. For 300 a month I get everything I will need to eat. Only thing that will come outta pocket is drinks. And seeing thats about how much we spend on me to eat anyways. ( figure it this way. 4 people in this family and we usally spend anywhere between 800-1000 on foodshoping a month ) So Ill keep you up to date on how everythings going. Maybe put a count down on here or something.

Something strangly cool happend yesterday . You all know how I went back to work for the same company I worked at a couple years ago. Well one of my normal customers ( No Im not a stripper of escort or anything of the sorts) Found me on myspace. He says hes tried finding me befor with no luck. I will deff have my gaurd up for awhile around this . Im torn between this being sweet and I actually made a impact on someone and then theres the strange feeling this is werid and stakerly. I dont need any drama in my life right now. Too tired for it . So for now. The gaurd is fully in place but If hes being sincer and just wanted to find someone that was always nice to him then it will slowly come down. Not sure what to make of it yet.

Today is my grandfathers birthday . I am not sure if he will read this or not but I wanted to tell you grandpa that We all love you and hope you have a great birthday. Your card is on its way. I just had to wait to get stamps. I love you sooooo much . Miss you even more.

Simple Rambles

2009-07-20T09:54:00.001-04:00

Well after a break( Work ) from everything and some well needed sleep. I am finally seeing things clearly lol. I think that I just had a bad mixture of no sleep and trying to adapt to what my life is now going to be like. About a year and half ago my hubby bear convienced me to quit my job to become a Stay At Home Momma. With very little effort might I add. I knew I would miss the cash flow . Even as little as it was . But the idea of being home with my family and being a stable parent for my son was something I was rather looking forward to . But in the last couple months moneys been getting tighter and tighter and hubby bear more stressed and working even harder. In America right now there is no way for a family of four to live off one paycheck, Get credit back on track and handle all out bills without going B.R. I know going BankR. is nothing to be ashamed of if it comes to that. I have even had a member of my own family do it to better their familys lives. And for that I will never look down on them. Or any others unless they are just trying to cheat the system. But with me not working , You would naturally think that I should go to work . Which I was fairly eager to do.. With a little shove from my oh so loving hubby bear. I will be the first to admit that it will trully be nice to have an extra paycheck coming into this house hold. The idea of not having to ask hubby bear for 5 dollars and have to explain what its for is something really nice. Not saying that hubby bear dosnt give me anything I want or need it will just be nice not to have to ask someone else. So now I am a fulltime+ employee. This is bittersweet. Yes. I am going to enjoy working the almost 50 hours a week and being able to get our credit taken care of along with the oh so missed friend that I like to foundly rememeber as cable. But with this oh so great opp of being able to have this job in this oconomy is the fact that, Once again, I am going to miss out of so much. I know this is something every parant deals with. But dangit this is my blog I have the right to mope right along with the right to beam with pride and love. Get use to it . I think that if I was working mornings and home at night I would be fine . But with my son the way he is , I would not trade him for the world, he is not able to go to normal all day Kindergarden and so for most of the time he is forced....Lucky to be stuck at home. So with no sitter the only option is for my butt to work the shift opp of hubby bear . Which sadly only leaves me 2nd shift. so for a woman who has been getting 7+ hours a sleep a night for the past oh almost 2 years , Shifting to 4 hours is going to be hard.

There really was a point to this blog but for one reason or another it has turned into a detailed reason as to why you will probly be seeing some drunkeness post for awhile. I promise I will work extra hard to get use to this. I think with the help of a new coffee maker I will be better off.
I am still thinking about starting up an extra blog. I am pretty set on it but just not sure how to start it . But I will keep this one going for all my long distance family. Who by the way . I love more then words can express and really think we need to plan a family thingy . Even if you are not blood related YOU ARE FAMILY!

Unsure

2009-07-19T11:44:00.002-04:00

Today starts the rest of my life. Or so I'm told. Well if thats the case. The rest of my life is going to suck. Ok maybe thats alittle harsh. I do have a great life. A wounderful hubby bear that works his arse off to provide for his family and is willing to give me anything... Even if there is alittle nudging involved. And I have two beautiful children. Even if all they do is fight . And yes I mean always . And A sturdy home that is indeed Our home. I usally trying to always see the good with the bad and vice versa. But today its hard. Maybe its the lack of sleep or the fact my step son has been home erm an Hour and they have yet to stop fighting. Its like I didnt get a freaking break. Once again this is not me stating I do not love my step son. In fact its quite the opps. I love him dearly. But man...... Im thinking of starting up another blog. Ontop of this one. Not like I dont have enought going on right? But this one would be completly private. Like no one but me would know its me writing it. Im sure if someone lookes hard enought they might find it once I create it but thats up to them. I guess it would my own personal Journal where I can have somewhere safe to go and vent without feeling judged. I promise to write everyone another longer blog about what whats been going on. but Ive gotten maybe a grand total of two hours of sleep after working all night and then driving up to CT to get step son and then all the way back home to be able to get to work in a couple hours. Later

Hello wounderful people of internet

2009-07-14T15:53:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to stop by and leave a note for any and all people that grace my little area of this whole big thing we call WWW.

Lifes been good I guess. Lil man started the first of three weeks that he will go to his summer classes. It was weird not having either of them here in the middle of summer. But I am still looking forward to the day they are both in school full time. Yesterday he was driving me crazy so the 4 hours he was gone today was a nice break.

I heard back from the woman about the job yesterday. I cleared the criminal background so shes deff bringing me on. I go in thursday to finish all the paperwork and do the computer part of m being hired. Getting this job is a sad blessing. Of course I am thankful to be able to have found a job in the recession and the money will be going to getting all our debt taken care of along with saving for things that the house might need. Oh and the best thing. Cable. Along with the fact I have already worked for this company is a large plus . Things will be alittle diffrent then the way I knew them since this is a new location and manager then the last one I was at. But its still sad in the fact that I trully thought that I would never return to this company or any others like it . Even with that factor the thing that I fear the most is missing out on my family . Im going to see my boys for a couple hours during the week in the mornings then thats it. And of course with me having two jobs I will really only have one day off and that day will be spent running around doing things the house or family needs. I guess it will be a huge balancing act. Weve done it befor and almost lost our relationship in the process. Me and hubby bear have had some hard time along with some great in the past 6 1/2 yrs weve been together. I just fear Im going to miss out on so much with not being around in the afternoons like I have been. But this is something that I have to do. Just a matter of time for us to settle into the way things will be and getting use to them. Ill keep yall up to date about it .

Ive been having really bad head akes on the left side of my head around my temple. My right eye is stronger then my left so time to time my left eye strains to keep up and caused almost migraines . If it dosnt get better soon I might be going and speaking with my doctor but for now Advil is a god send.

Hubby bears on his way home with the next disk of prison break . So Im gonna go call the company about cable instal and talk to yall later.

I've got the golden ticket!!

2009-07-12T21:22:00.003-04:00

Yep thats right everyone. I am one lucky lucky woman. For I have such a great family. Live in such a great area and have Tickets to my all time fav band. Creed. *Glows with happiness* Thursday I find out that their coming out with a new cd. Friday bickerd with Hubby bear about if their going to have a tour. Sat morning I find out that they are having a tour. Saterday lunch time. I am the proud owner of GREAT seats for their Aug 9th show. Yep yep. I know Im lucky. And very very loved. Thank you hubby bear. I know you are only going because of me and I promise to repay the fav. One way or another.

I was going to try to get the family to go to something that in my eyes is something everyone should do if they live or are traveling around here. About 30 mins from where I live is a town I will refer to as East. From the steps of the old Court House the Declaration of Independence was read on July 8, 1776. Every year they relive this. I was really thinking about going but I am not good with crowds so for this year. Instead we took Lil man out to his first ever Mini golf game . We did not keep score but he did really well. You would think it would be him who got his tiny freaking balls in the water. But no. Sadly. It was the parents. ME and HUBBY BEAR! lol But it was fun all around.

Lil man is trully missing his older brother Cpt.KIA which is still with bio mom untill this sunday. And the way I know this from a child that trully does not speak other then a few short words here and there? He curls up with his blanket and plays there. Of course we all miss Cpt.KIA but I am glad for this break. Now if only I could get a spa day for myself and get away from all three of my very much loved men. Would just be nice to have a day around women. But I love my family so I would probly just be hurring to get it done to return home.

I havnt heard from the woman about the job yet. Im hoping she just didnt want to call during the weekend and will call tomorrow or tuesday. I could really use the money for many reasons.
Guess Ill leave yall for the night. Im gonna go check out HULU.com and see if I have any new shows taged. Nite

great day all around

2009-07-09T20:27:00.002-04:00

So here I am . After a night of pretty much me and hubby bear snipping at each other . We had a great day today . Im doing something nice for Bio mom out of the goodness of my heart. Because I know if I was in her shoes I would love it if she did this for me. From one mother to another this is a gift. But yea this morning I was doing pretty much getting this gift together for her untill I sall that it was time to get ready for my Interview. Got ready and went after Hubby bear got home. It went really good. She pretty much said shes bringing me on to try and after my criminal background clears and shows Im not a complete loser Ill be back into the world as we know it as Full time Employed. Yippee !!! But *Knock on wood* seeing as I dont really have anything other then petty debt I dont see a problem. Came home and watched Push with hubby bear then took lil man out to our community pool while hubby bear had to do some running around. I saddly fear that out of the many things my son has inherited from me. Love for swimming is not one of them. He hates getting in the water. And it wasnt like the water was cold or anything. So yea seems right now till he gets use to it my lil family will be chillin out in the kiddie pool. No biggie . I can sit and he plays. As long as he dosnt get wet above the waste hes all good. Came home and hubby bear grilled some grub for us and so kindly went to the store even when the food was done and got rolls when we realized we had used all of them. Then settled down on the couch watched Knowing and talked to Cpt.KIA when he called . I know this is the most exciting thing in the world but this was a great day . And I fear with me going back to work full time ops of hubby bears work days like today are going to a end. At least till the boys are both full time in school and I can work days. Oh and one of the best things about today. I found out my all time fav band who had broken up a couple years ago are coming out with a brand new Cd this fall. Yep thats right people . Creed is coming out with a new cd called Full circle. Anyone want to buy it for me? We can call it a early xmas gift. I promise Ill repay the favor???

Congrats goes out to my momma. While her company is going trew some tuff times and saddly some familys are going to be going trew a really rough time here my great momma has gotten a Great Promotion. And just when she was ready to walk. Just proves that if your going trew hell just keep going.

Hi ho Hi ho its off to summer we go

2009-07-06T15:06:00.008-04:00

Well Well Well... Looks like I havnt really been too talkitive. Maybe thats because so much has been going on. Maybe just the fact I havnt been in the mood to talk lately. Last week it seems all weve been doing is preparing for this past weekend. Preparing my stepson. Cpt.KIA . to go stay with "Daddys friend L" or as I would like to call her from now on Bio Mom. I have strong feelings towards her. Yes. I know I still need to sit down and write it all out but yea just havnt really been up to it yet. Guess when this trial run ends and everything goes back to normal I will do it. Trust me your not missing anything too exciting just something I should get out there for the world to know and then move on. Well on the 27th me and hubby bear went to a concert that we bought tickets to about 6 months ago. Ok me growing up in Texas. Well simply put. I am huge into country music. Gotta stick to my roots ya'll . Hehe I still got it. But this was a concert we simply could not pass up on. Kenny Chestney. Montgomery Gentry. Sugarland. Miranda lambert. And lady Antabella. Hows that for a line up? lol Well saddly we were not able to get to watch the full show. When we got there it was clear many many people had be there since the wee hours tailgating . So by 4 pm when the show started . Everyone was wasted that had been to the bigol parking lot party. yea. We got trew 3 of the 5 shows and then it seemed like it was time for everyone to get into it. Yea. With everyone fighting around us and beer flowing freely it was time to leave. It was still a great time.
Nana had the boys for the night as to planed and since it was going to be late by the time we got back she let us keep the night off. Thankies Nana. So we went out and watched 'Hangover' It was a good movie. Anyone whos had a hangover in their life will be able to relate to this movie. The rest of the week was kinda a blur. I realized monday that Cpt.KIA has a lazy eye. So we got him in asap and by wensday night he was wearing glasses that look like Magnifing glasses. Not only does he have the lazy eye he has really bad near sighted ness. Thank god we dont live 30 years ago when he would have had to wear those HUGE ugly black glasses. Tell me he dosnt look cute in them. He loves them.
Friday we drove up to CT. Let me tell you something. Driving trew any big city traffic brings me close to panic attacks. No Lie. And with the way my hubby bear likes to drive. Well yea. the 4 hour drive up there to take Cpt.KIA to bio moms house SUCKED! Thats all Ill say about the drive. Fianlly we got there and stayed for about an hour and let him get use to her. I think he was more then ready for us to leave and him be the center of attention for two whole weeks. If the visit goes good . Well be having a sit down talk with him . Ill keep you up to date on that. On the way home we were going to stop at this little burger place. Its suppose to be the home of the very first hamburger ever made. yea well since this is basiclly a family based place They took off for the holiday weekend. I couldnt help but laught. Both hubby bear and myself were pretty upset but on our trip up there were going to call and make sure their going to be open lol. Saterday was a great day. We all pretty much slept in . Which was really nice . but finally got our lazy butts outta bed and off to Sesame place we went. Ok if anyone has kids and ever near philly pa. Take your kids there. They have a great place. And its not just for the kids. Grown ups can ride to . But since we paid we got a two for one so when Cpt.KIA comes back and we have the money up for his ticket were going to go back. We pretty much only did the water rides and then went back for pictures. So well do all the dry rides next time. Lil man loved seeing the few characters that we did see.

Heading out we were all pretty done with the sun. We headed up to Beckys Drive Inn. Yes we are lucky enought to live an hour from new york. 30 mins from philly. hour from Sesame place. And 30-40 mins from a drive inn. We live in a great place. *Take note of this. Youll never hear me speak of anywhere by texas like this* Well John loved it. We watched Ice Age 3. And Xmen Wolverne . We had a great day.

Of course by sunday all we wanted to do was lay down. I got burnt up pretty good saterday . But hopefully it will turn into a nice tan. Hubby bears back to work today. It seems alittle werid without him but its nice for everything to get back to normal. I dont know if you remember me talking about me trying to get a job with the same company I worked for , For almost 2 years about a year ago? Well the lady called me today and Thursday I have an interview. Think its really just for paperwork since Ive heard trew the grapevine that they seem to always be hiring because no one wants to stay their. Well thats good for me because that happend at the last one I worked in. Hopefully it will go good. I will update everyone thursday or late friday on how it goes. Friday I work at the kitchen and then saterday were taking Lil man to his first ever mini golfing or to the crayola factory. Yes we have one 40 mins from our house lol . I know I know Im lucky to live in a great place. EVEN IF ITS NOT TEXAS. Think were going to do the golfing and then go to C.F. when Cpt.KIA comes back. Lil mans first week of summer classes will be on the 13th and then the weekend after that we go back to pick up Cpt.KIA. Maybe I can talk nana into keeping her oh so adorable grandson for a couple hours the saterday befor we go back up there so mommy and daddy can go see a movie? But i promise to try to keep everyone more up to date.

Kisses from our lil man to you.

To the fathers of my world

2009-06-21T09:33:00.010-04:00

You are a great father. Work harder then I have seen any other. Make sure our children are well taken care of and always have more then they need. That can go from mean daddy to the sweetest daddy in the world with just a smile from our child. That is the first to volunteer to jump on a kiddie ride to help a child feel better about a first time. With such a open mind to let a mother like me dress our children in a mohawk and skulls and still tell him hes a heartbreaker. To a man that when ever has been needed or asked has steped up to the plate. Our world would be much darker without you in it.

You came into my life at the age of 9. I fought you half of the time and the other half we got along like two peas in a pod. You were always the father in my life even though your never had to be. Now are a great Pappy to my children. You tought me about Barking Spiders, Not to touch lil green strangers, and its a BBQ even if its 40 Degres out and all the foods inside. The life lessons I will always tressure. Thank you for being there when you didnt have too. You are greatly loved.

You are the man I gained half of my Genes from. Been in and out of my life for pretty much my entire life. And yet even when we think the end has come for this strange father daughter relationship we have. There is always another start. Maybe for the kids maybe just to have each other in the picture. Either way . I love you and always will and hope you have a great fathers day.

I could have gone my entire life without ever have meeting you. But I am so glad that I have. You have welcomed me into your life and your family without a second thought about it. I enjoy our talks and being around each other is always a adventure. I hope you will forever be a part of our lifes and hopefully one day we will live closer.

Mommy dont play that

2009-06-17T19:18:00.000-04:00

I have been profussely sick the last couple days. I honestly thing the first couple Hubby Bear thought it was a excuse to get out of doing Anything. Of course while Ive felt like dying my children felt like crying. With tears of joy that is. Lil man has learned a new game. He thinks this is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Grab something off the desk while mommys not paying attention to me and run with it. Of course in this game mommy has to get up or try very hard to get said important thing back or well . The games no fun. I have not had a problem with this game. The smiles it brings to his face is one of a kind and the laughter to my ears. That alone is worth the migrain hours upon hours of chasing after him . Usally I can get away with sitting in the chair and turning this way and that to reach for him when he would Dearingly come closer and closer. As the past few days this has been his number one thing he has wanted to do. But today unlike the others I have felt worse then normal and ontop of it Hubby bear is still not home because he went to look at a car. Which everyone will like to know. He has found a car for half of what we were planing on. New Computer Chair here I come. So I have not eaten or had anything to drink since this morning when I snaged half a cup of his tea for lunch. Im alil edgy to begin with and ontop of it waiting to go food shoping . Yes my children have eaten. Well the great hubby I have has called , From god knows where . and orderd chinese for me. I am still waiting on it with the money on the desk, When my beautiful son decided it was time to play another round of 'keep away' This time with mommys $20 sitting on the desk to pay for mommys food. Lets just say my kid knows how to get out of a grasp when he wants to.All the while the laughting and playing continued. This round of mommys chinese money did not last as long as the others because Mommy dont play that!

Im still here

2009-06-16T08:12:00.000-04:00

I know its been a week since Ive writen last. Nothing too important has been going on. Just seems like everytime I turn around theres something else that has grabed my attention. We got a little bit of money last week. So saterday the four of us went out to a nice dinner. We try not to go out to eat to much but this place is really good southern food. Its my Grandmas fav place to eat and I think it has become mine. Maybe once in a huge while when Im in the mood to cheat on my very strict diet ill treat myself to going there. I would tell the name of it but right now my mind has completly blanked on me. Sorry.

We are buying a Wii from my parents. They want to get something like a Xbox so for a GREAT price we got almost everything we could ask for with it. We are planning on getting a couple more games and maybe a wii fit but right now weve been vedging out on the couch playing each other . Went to block buster today and rented a game. Its a great game that has all the family favs like battleship and connect 4. I think its one of the games were gonna be buying when ever we get this stupid tredmill sold. Want to say thank you to my momma and dad for giving us the system befor paying them. We do have the money and as soon as we see you youll be a few hundred richer.

With the little bit of money we got . We have been planing for awhile what we are going to get with it. Hubby bear is trying really hard to find another car so that way we have two and can stop putting so many miles on this one that will mainly become mine. While Cpt. KIA is up with his bio mother for two weeks were going to do something speical for lil man and take him to this great amusment park that is centerd around kids. http://www.sesameplace.com/sesame/pa/index.aspx . Yes we have our reason for why were going while Cpt.KIT is going to be with his Bio-Mom. Mainly its to give lil man something speical as Cpt.KIT is going to have with his trip but theres other reason. We finally got a new vacume today. Ours broke when we moved into our house and I will be the first to admit I suck at being a house keeper. But the one thing that I usally have to do every day is vacume my living room. I know its strange but hey . Its me take it or leave it. When I was finally able to vacum our living room without all the dirt just being pushed back out I was beaming. Is that sad? We also finally got a foot bath. Hubby bear wont admit it, But that is his fav thing right now. At least we wont have to fight over it . Me during the day him during the evening. Seems simple right ?

Found a couple of blogs that I have been captured by. So most the time Im on blogger Im readding their blog to catch up. Which is good and bad at the same time because its getting me up to date with their blogs but putting me behind on all my other blogs I should be reading . As of last friday Cpt.KIT is out of school of the summer. Im thinking about setting up a countdown till his first day of school. I love my Step Son. but man oh man. Sometime I just want to run and screem. Is it bad of me to say Im REALLY looking forward to his stay with his Bio mom? Of course its a lil nerve racking as this will be the first over night stay with her in Years. Another blog for another time. But I think in the long run this will help all of us. Every parent deserves a break once in awhile right? Not like Im wanting him to move away . Shoot even lil man gets under my skin some times. I know I use to drive momma crazy . Which is why I so foundly remeber returning to her After spending the summers with my grandmother. lol

Im still looking for another job. I will keep the cooking gig, Seeing as its only friday nights right now. And saddly its looking like Im going to have to go back to what I was doing befor I went into being a Stay at home momma. But hey . At least I know the work and it will bring in some more money right? Because let me tell you. I miss having my own money. Not saying that hubby bear dosnt get me what ever I really want but it would be nice to not have to ask him for everything and finally let him have some of his own money for himself. And having Cable back would be Really nice. Not that I need it because I can pretty much watch Almost anything online but yea sometimes its nice not to have to sit on a broken desk chair to what the shows you want to watch. What do you think will come first. My lap top or Cable??

Where Back

2009-06-08T13:50:00.007-04:00

Wow , It feels so good to be home. I was planning on writing this up last night but by the time that we got home and settled all I had energy for was to check emails and a couple blogs. Think we were all pretty much ready to crash after alil bit of being home. I could still use some sleep. But the trip was great.I was having 2nd thoughts about going up untill when we left and alittle after we got there. The main reason I wanted to go was to go to the beach... Well that didnt happen. It rained off and on pretty much the whole trip and yes the only day it didnt rain was saterday. I told you that was my luck. But its ok. We made up for it . Went to the pool and hot tub. This was the first time lil man has gotten into a Big Person pool. So it was alittle nerve racking for him and myself to say the least. Not too sure he enjoyed it as much as I did but I do have to say that my lil man Loved the hot tub. Just sitting back in the warm water without a care in the world. Thats my boy .:Beams with pride:. Thursday and friday all we pretty much did was just chill with the family off and on. Got to see some family we havnt seen in years... Even though they live ehhh 45 mins from us. It took us going to S.C. to see them lol. Saterday was the best day . Started out by going to this great lil place http://www.fundaygo.com/. The kids really loved it and the big kids got to play to.

Lil man started to get tired and knowing he needed to stay up for a LONG time. He got to have his very first Mountain Dew. Seeing as grandpa works for Pepsi Company. I think he got a little thrill out of seeing this first. Now let me set the record and say I pride myself on not allowing my children to have sodas. A sip here and there but never a full bottle to themselves. But I figured it was a vacation and he was old enough to handle one. Now let me clear something up really fast. The bottle was a mini bottle and he only had 1/3rd of all of it. My children are firm drinkers in anything But soda. I.E. Ice teas, Milks, Juic, Waters. And I like it this way. But Believe it or not. The mountain dew had no, Nada none, effect of him. I guess my lil man has enough energy to go around for the bunch.

But anyways . The boys loved bouncing and sliding for a good hour befor it was time for lunch. Went back to the room ate and got ready and then headed over to the In~laws to celebrate 3 birthdays and 2 graduations all happening within a week span. Ha and here I was thinking we were only going down for 1, Yes One , Graduation. I want to say a huge thank you to Uncle A's friend Nick that was staying with the In~Laws who for a good hour had to listen to my oh so adorable five year old going "giveeback" And when wasnt given the game trew such a huge fit, Did I mention how much I love my child? . And even trew all of that you still continued to play with him. Bless you kind stranger.

A. D. And my great mother in law J.

Then it was off to see my brother in law graduate from high school. I was alittle worried about going . Not actually being there but if anyone has small children . going to something like this is alil scary woundering how the children are going to act. But add of a child with PDD, and your close to having a nervus break down at the thought of sitting for almost 2 hours and having the child stay calm . But omg lil man did SOOOOOO good. But comon even if he was bad. Do you really think I could stay mad at him with him looking this cute?

Hubby bear and the man of the hour A.

Brother in law A. And father & mother in law.

Hubby bear and my 3 brother in laws. C. A. & D. and of course Hubby bear

But after the rather sucessful graduation sitting the whole family headed out to this great lil place to eat. Where I have to say is the only place I have ever had real Strawberry Ice tea. Yummy. Everyone was in good spirts . Even cpt.KIA who was at this point. Really tired,Hungry , And to top it off Homesick and just wanted to come home and see birdie.

We said our goodbyes and headed back to the room. Packed and crashed. By sunday on our way home we were all feeling blah and just wanted to be home. but all in all it was a good trip.

We are very proud of A for getting this far in life and everything he has planed for his years to come. I am proud to call you my brother even if it is only by marriage.

Later gater

2009-06-03T19:15:00.002-04:00

I know I promised to write something more detailed but yea... Lifes been busy with work and getting ready for the trip. So, As of midnight tonight we will be on our way to S.c. I was really only going to go to the beach but its suppose to be raining. So hopefully there will be one nice day to head out there. My luck it will be saterday when my brother in law is graduating from high school. I.E. Hubby bears reason for going. That trully would be my luck. Hopeflly ill be able to get some nice pictures while were down there. See everyone next week

Its Offical....

2009-06-01T10:06:00.001-04:00

We have gone from ....

Too this...

MOHAWKS BACK!!!

Its the weekend and Ill cry if I want to ...

2009-05-30T14:28:00.002-04:00

So yea. Seems Ive been a naughty girl and havnt writen anything for the past three days. Well I did write something.I just never got to post it on here yet . And now its kinda outdated so Im not sure if Ill be able to . I promise Ill catch you up soon. Maybe tomorrow if Im not toooo busy getting ready for next weekend. Right now Im just so tired that Im living off of this
Isnt it the greatest stuff in the world? Well to me anyways. Tonight theres a band in the bar that I work for . So Maybe , Just maybe . The music will drift into the kitchen and help keep me awake. Of course by the time they start well be cleaning. What a shame... if there good I might just stay and watch them . Oh the shame of working in a firehouse....

Its a sad time in the life of a Disney lover

2009-05-27T09:31:00.002-04:00

The actor who voiced Mickey Mouse for more than 30 years has died, with his wife - who is the voice of Minnie Mouse - by his bedside.
Wayne Allwine, 62, died on Monday of complications from diabetes, the Walt Disney Company said. "Wayne dedicated his entire professional life to Disney," the Disney chief executive Robert Iger said. "Over the last 32 years, he gave so much joy, happiness and comfort to so many around the world by giving voice to our most beloved, iconic character, Mickey Mouse."
Born in Glendale, California, Allwine joined Disney in 1966 when he took a job in the mail room. He went on to work in the sound effects department and began voicing the company’s main mouse in 1977 after using his natural falsetto to win an open audition.
He was only the third man behind Mickey's voice. The first was Walt Disney himself, who spoke for the mouse from 1928 to 1947, before passing the role to Jimmy MacDonald, the studio's sound effects wizard. MacDonald had already been Allwine's mentor in the studio and told him after passing on the reins: "Just remember kid, you're only filling in for the boss."
"Mickey’s the real star," Allwine said later. "You know you just have to love the little guy while you have him, because he won’t be yours forever."
Allwine's first voice work as Mickey was for television but also provided the mouse's voice for movies including "Mickey’s Christmas Carol" (1983), "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", (1988), and" The Prince and the Pauper" (1990) and for Disney theme parks, radio and live stage events.
Allwine is survived by his wife, Russi Taylor, whom he married in Hawaii in 1981, and is one of Hollywood's most famous voice actresses. She has been the voice of Minnie since 1986.

{ None of the above is my writing. I found this article on Times website. Anyone that knows me know of my love for Disney movie . And maybe not for you but to me this is a sad day. I may not have know him but he will forever live in my household. I leave you with a photo of both him and his beautiful wife.}

HomeSick or MemorySick???

2009-05-27T08:02:00.001-04:00

I have been feeling really home sick lately. Missing everything that use to be "Home" to me. Sitting back and looking at photos. Talking to my friends.Just remembering everyting in general. But then I realized something. It wasnt the place I missed. Even though yea. I do miss it sometimes. It was the memories. The people. That I missed. I mean can you every really go home? I remember hearing that you could always go home but I dont see how you could. I mean even if I were to go back Everything would be changed. And I do mean everything. Hell Ive changed for the most part. Would I really just fit back into the schem of things? Or would I just be this weird person trying to rehash years ago?Dont get me wrong. Of course one day I would love to move back down south. To me Texas will always be Home. Its just a completly diffrent place down there. Even Hubby bear fell in love with it when he was down there for a week last year. Maybe in a couple years we will be able to save up some money and move down there. Of course by then I will have two homes. Texas and Yanky Land (Pa). I will continue to remember my memories foundly as they will always be apart of me. As will most of the people in them. Myspace is a great thing. Im starting to think this post has no real meaning to is ... So heres a pic of what I still consider Home.

Is your heart still mine....

2009-05-27T00:09:00.004-04:00

Yes, I know the title has nothing to do with this post but hey. Its the last lyric I heard and since I was unable to think of a title... There you go. Not much to talk about. This week has been calm. Which is a blessing in its own. Had a great BBQ in beautiful weather with the parents monday . Crappy weather the rest of the time.I should probly head to bed but I am not tired in the least. So like I said not much to write about so guess Ill leave you with some pictures. Enjoy

They were sitting so cute together so I quickly got up to get a picture and by the time I got over there lil man was giving this expression.... Think hes tired of having his picture taken.Still a good one of him and Daddy .

This this is maybe one of my more recent pics of Lil man that I just love.

Notice the hat??? Yea Buddy... Thats where yours trully is from!

Birdie... Shes a tiny thing but shes a good mouser.

Lazy rainy mornings....

Blah... Arg... Huh?

2009-05-24T14:07:00.002-04:00

Wow I feel like poopoo.... Hubby bears laying down in the bedroom with a massive migrane... Poor man.. Im sittin here surfin web and blogging feeling like I have a hang over... funny thing is I only had one drink last night . : Insert laughter here:. Work is great . Its only cooking at a firehall but its great. Think the only bad thing is its only part time and right now they dont know when there going to need me. I should really go clean right now for the BBQ tomorrow .... Not sure if its going to happen though. Parents might just get to see dirty house. Not like it would be the first time....

Weekend in a nutshell.

2009-05-18T20:58:00.008-04:00

Well... What can I say about this weekend. Nothing too out of the blue. I guess you could say. It had its good moments and it had its bads.Thankfully more goods then bads. Friday afternoon hubby bear picked up a pkg of shoe strings to fit my fav heals. Ok Now Im not the type of girl that is all girly girl. Hair always done. Nails. Ext ext. But I have found a pair of heals that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to wear. Maybe the first time in my life. I Got them a few months back when I was in Khols and fell in love with them. That has never happends befor. Got to wear them a grand total of 2 times befor my wounderful son decided it would be better to destroy the laces then let mommy cont to wear them. They go with everything I own. There called Apt.9 Kink dress heals. Deff a pair I am wishing I will forever have. I wasnt feeling too good friday afternoon . But when hubby brought home the laces I cheered right up. Of course still felt like I needed to hurl. And then something happend that I thought would never happen. I was laying on our couch watching one of the many seasons of Reba , Seeing as we have no cable right now, When my son, Lil man. Was bouncing around the living room. Now you would think this would be a normal thing for a 5 year old lil boy with Autisum. And actually you would be right. this is nothing new in our house hold. Now if he actually sits still for longer then 2 mins then thats something strange. But anyways. I way laying there and hes bouncing away and hubby bears sittin at the computer when I see my son bounce around and then bounce his forhead right of the corner of the coffee table. When he finally stood up. There was a good 2 inch hole in his forehead. Suddenly I no longer felt sick. I jumped up then hubby bear and off the the Er . Thankfully my mom was able to come up and watch Cpt. Know it all after he got home from school .

Three hours and 7 stiches later.....Lil Man did so good. Cried maybe the first 10 mins after it happend and when we first put him on the table in the er. Guess he rememberd the last time a year and half ago he had to get stiches. Finally got home and got the boys into bed . Layed down and Mommy crashed. All that sickness came flooding back. Isnt that a great story? lol and that was only friday . Saterday was much much better. The boys were good . Lil man was back to his self jumping around and acting like a normal boy . The only sign he rememberd what happend was he went around to everyone pointing to it and going " LOOK" . Thats my trooper for ya. Nan came back up for what we had originally planed for. She got to spend the evening with the boys while Hubby bear and myself got to have Grown up time. We went and sall

Now I have mixed feelings on this movie. Mostly good. I just have one huge question? What on earth did this have to do with Demons. I get the whole Angel tie in but Demons? Maybe I missed it or just a repensentation of evil but then it there could be two meanings to the angel. Idk Either way it was a good movie. I enjoyed The Davinci code and seeing this was the next one in ther serious it was as good as to be expected. Of course 15/20 mins befor it was over I was so ready to leave. I am not good with sitting in a theater for longer then 90 mins and this was 2 hours and 20 mins . I do think well buy this when its released on dvd. Buy the time it was over we were so ready to get going and head to dinner. We both hardly eaten anything all day so by 4 pm we were kinda starvin. And we went to a grand ol fancy dinner at CICI's Pizza. Yep you heard it . Im a lucky girl. I have to admit it was my idea. I love their pizza and dont get it often. We left there right when it was getting busy. Headed over and walked around a shop for awhile to waste time while our friend got ready to meet up with us. After about an hour of just walking and window shopping we head over to the firehouse where Hubby bears a member. They were having a band that night. Hey I normally would have rather go somewhere like a club but when I can get a Jolly Rancher for 2.50 Im There.

While we were there I sall a posting for Part time Kitchen help wanted. And with me looking for work. Mainly part time. It was right up my allie. Of course I had never worked in a kitchen other then my own So I was a little hesitent to ask about it. Me being me. Got hubby bear to ask first then finally went back to talk to the Kitchen manager and seemed to really hit it off. At first she was just going to call be but like 20 mins later she came out and asked if I wanted it . Of course I wanted to jump for joy and shout Yes . but I polietly said yes and thanked her . So I start this Friday. Gonna see how friday goes and if it goes good then it looks like I will have a job. I get to wear jeans to work so hopefully Ill be able to keep this one. Sat nigh ended on a great note. Sunday we kinda just lounged around the house . After saterday both hubby bear and myself were feeling kinda Blah.... I crashed REALLY early sunday night . Well today starts the new week but more stuff just keeps happening . And it all happend right when I woke up so I guess I could count that in with the weekend seeing as my mind was not fully awake. Lil man came into my room crying to wake me up. Something he hardly ever does unless somethings wrong. Lil man is not a crier. But I wake up to find out Cpt.KnowItAll had bit him. And not gently either . So of course I had to handle that lil situation. Cpt. KIT got grounded. 2 days for lieing to me and then 2 days for each bite mark. And there was 2 of them so a grand total of 6 days and all for something that could have been controlled by him not doing something hes gotten in trouble for over and over.... Seems hes getting worse and worse . Makes me sick to think we wasted the money to sign him up to sport for him to act like this. Money could have gone to better things. But thats not the only thing. The other thing is Went to get a plate and found a cat.

Nothing really serious about that . Just surprised me seeing not something you usally see . Still dont know how she got up there. Just tells me be careful what your reach your hand into.

Happy mothers day!

2009-05-10T08:45:00.003-04:00

Trew all the tears and smiles. One person has always been there for me. My momma. Weve had our diffrences but in the end it always brings us closer. She has raised me when no one else could. I know in the end even if we want to rip each others heads off one min well be going back hugging and crying enjoying every moment of each others company. She has not only been a great mother but an even greater friend. I cant picture my life without her and I know this sounds like a bunch of Rambling but I just wanted her to know how loved she is . Thank you for being a great mother and Nana to my lil ones.

Energy boost....

2009-05-08T21:34:00.002-04:00

Guess the title tells everything. I dont know what it was about today but I just got into this cleaning kick. Well dont know if you can really call it a cleaning kick , Seeing as the only Real cleaning I did was dishes. Lets just say. Orginzing kick. Im sure by now all of you have realized that I am not perfect with my gramer. Im human . Get over it . But back on topic. Yea. If anyone knows me knows that I like things a certain way. Dont know where I get that from :Cough: Mom. But yea , I have the hardest time keeping things orginized. And it stresses me out so bad you would seriously call me a freak. I think I can keep my house pretty originized . But our desk. OMG . One day you can put down a note book or a cataloge and the next day its hidden under a pile of junk. I seriously dont know how hubby bear can handle it. Hell just push it over to the side and forget about it. I will let it go for so long befor I clean off the entire desk of lose stuff and go trew it . The end result is a orginized desk, Me with a head ake and ten more things added to the project list. Which I am pretty sure all of which I wont get to.

But I did get something very important done today. My XMAS shopping list. Yes I know its only the start of may. But I swear Im horriable at planning for the holidays. This year I want it to be diffrent. I went trew all the catalogs I had that were somewhat recent and wrote down everything I plan to get for everyone. And the good thing about having it all planed now is we have plenty of time to get everything. And Even thought I wrote down a few ideas from a few of them most of the stuff is coming from the same one . Which is a plus for me . Less shipping. Of course I dont have a clue what were going to get the boys . And hate to say it but its only family this year. I would love to be able to send my girls and godchildren stuff but thats just not gonna happen unless but any luck I get a job soon. And even then its iffy.

I do need to download some music to put on the zune. As to Hubby bears request. My brother in law is graduating from highschool early june and Hubby bears going to go. It was going to be me and him but yea. It will be better this way. So yea gotta get some music ready for his trip.

Summers coming up and fast. Im really not looking forward to it. Ill be the first to admit that I enjoy my alone time while their at school. Im gonna have to think of some things to do with the boys. I know the pools going to be open soon. So maybe take them there. Not sure seeing as neither of them know how to swim. And theres no way Im getting into a swimsuit this summer. So maybe daddy will be able to and Ill be the picture taker lol. Does it count if I put my feet in??? Please say it does? Found this great blog that gives really creative food ideas for kids. And it isnt really anything too out there. Just normal stuff created in fun shapes and animals that kids can have fun with. So Ill have to get some of the reciepes for weekday lunches. Think Im gonna get a countdown till school starts back up. Is that alittle too pushy? lol I think not!

Nothing else really going on. Weathers been crappy. Lots of rain. But my plants are finally starting to grow. Which Im really excited about. My legs are killing me so Im thinking I sat on the floor to long or its going to pour tomorrow. Either way . I sent out a letter to a family member that has been a part of my life from time to time. Im not really expecting anything but hey dosnt hurt to keep them updated. Ok think its time I go and fill out apts. Later

Grumbles

2009-05-04T08:05:00.000-04:00

I have never been one for early mornings. And to me a early morning is anytime befor 9 am . And even that is still to early. I enjoy evenings and nights. Theres always more life to them then mornings. Granted my children love mornings. They are always very talkitive during the wee hours and All I seem to do is grumble my replys to what ever statement or awnser they do. I seriously think its time to get a coffee maker. Nice black or red one would go great in my kitchen.

How old??

2009-05-01T21:33:00.000-04:00

Can someone tell me the question to this Very important question???? How old do you have to be untill you have all the awnsers youll ever need? All my life Ive heard people say things along the lines of " What till your older. Then youll know." Well, How old do I have to be. Seems to me , That no one knows all the awnsers. Ok Ill give a certain few. Like those on there death beds that have lived 80-90 years. But common. They've lives a LONG time. They have seem many things and been trew alot. Think its only right to give credit where credits due. Of course when your a teenager you have the right to Think you know it all but in realitly dont have a clue. Im including myself in this. Then when you get into your 20s you start to get a idea of where you want your life to go. Family. Jobs. Partier. Everyone seems to have the perfect life maped out. Of course not everyones is going to work out the way they plan. I'm willing to bet that most everyones plans are going to change somewhere along the life. I , Personaly cant speak about any age older then what I am. So I will stop with the 20s. But Im just woundering. When does anyone have all the awnsers? 20's, 30's Death bed? Seems to me that no one really does. Or maybe those few that do. I.e. Death beds. have all the awnsers arnt able to use them. Seems everyone always gets the awnsers to many problems everyones faced with After they need it to help them. Of course this could take me into the whole Everything happends for a reason. We have to go trew the bads just like the goods to better ourselves. yada yada. Im sure no one wants to hear me go on and on about this type of stuff. Just a question Im sending out into the universe. Not really expecting a awnser.

On a side note. While I was writing this , Our cat Birdie caught yet Another mouse. When we first brought her home from my mommas house we knew we had one. Which is why we finally say yea well come get her. Everything had seemed good for alittle while. Didnt even know we had another one untill I heard her running around the kitchen like shes crazy. Then she comes prouncing out into the living room, AkA The room Im in, with the head in her mouth and the body just hanging there. Yes. This is my excitement for friday night. Being a homebody is a curse and gift all at the same times. Another blog for another time. Think Im gonna go chill out to some music and surf the WWW. nite everyone

I DID IT!!!!

2009-04-30T18:23:00.000-04:00

I DID It ... if anyone couldnt tell! With the thanks of my beloved MOMMA . I was able to change my Blogger layout. And I finally went around and made it offical of who I fallow on this wounderful site where everyone gets to peek into the world of other people without it being against the law! Another YAY for the WWW. Onto the more inticting news. We wont be going to Texas for a visit like we were hoping. Something Im not too trilled with . But Accept it. Instead with the money we were going to use were going to be geting the oil tank filled for next winter. All of us need clothes and were gonna take a couple trips. Take the boys down to the philly zoo and to Sesame Place. Which is something weve always wanted to do. And of course for the mommy and daddy time. DORNEY!!! Maybe Ill be able to talk hubby into another pircing and tattoo. Or just oneor the other... I really want my eyebrow pireced again but THE RIGHT WAY!!! I swear. You finaly give in and trust someone else to touch your body in such a private way like a tattoo and pircing and you would think they would do it right the first time. Of course Not. Well at least this dumb dumb didnt . Think he was to busy checking out the girl I was with then actually paying attention the the placement of where he was going to put a hole in my head. Thats ok.Ill go back to someone I trust and get it done the right way.

Things are ok on the home front. Hubby bears out at a baseball game with a friend from work.I miss him but sometimes its good to have this alone time. Well I dont know if you can call it alone time with both boys still here but yea. Its pretty much alone time to me. Because usally all I have to do is tell them " GO PLAY" And they Normally dont bug me :D I know I should probly be playing with them. But my god. I woke up this morning and was so tired. Im doing everything in my power to just to stay awake. Thats the good ol life of me. Its almost the boys bed time so Im closing it out here. NITEY NITE!!!!

OMG !!!!

2009-04-28T23:31:00.000-04:00

We got some great news today. My son has had health problems since birth. No Joke. And the stupid stupid stupid doctors always tryed to blame it on myself and Hubby Bear. Well today we got the news that there was no way in hell that it was us. Which could only mean one thing.

THE DOCTOR WAS A DUMB FUCK !!!! That was more worried with going by the book , Because "This is a learing hospital and there are students here" He should have just gone with his gut and all of this could of been avoided. Now I dont know exactlly whats going to happen or if anything is going to happen at all because of how long its been . But we are sure as hell going to try to find a lawyer and get whats right to be done. People like that doctor should NOT be treating human's!!! Ok Think Im done ranting for the night. Im gonna go work on something else now. Or maybe just watch Ms.Birdie run back and forth like shes actually running after something.

AGH!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-28T23:28:00.000-04:00

I just dont get it. Why is it I can spend hours fixing up something like Myspace and my myspace blog then when I find a layout or shall I use blogger terms. Templet. And I try to bring it over here and use it I CANT!!!! The stupid computer gives me this stupid message saying the format of the link was not correct or some shit like that. Ok I know Im not the dumbest person when it comes to the computer. Shit Ive been using it since I was like 9. God Im feeling old. But common.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Times like this make me just want to have a blank page. Cant be too mad. My myspace looks great. Just blogger looks like crap. Oh well Nothing too much to worry about.

Where has the time gone???????

2009-04-27T21:51:00.001-04:00

Holy crap... Its been over a month since Ive posted one of these. Maybe its the curse of never really being able to keep up with these types of things or maybe its just life has a funny way of taking over everything you have planed and making it into what it wants. Either way I am hell bent on staying with this. Life has taken a couple turns but nothing tooooo serious. This past sunday. The 26th was mine and my husbands 6 year aniversary. I can still remember the first 5 mins of us talking like it was just hours ago. Think its also funny that Everytime I remember it I can smell dunkin donuts coffee.... Seeing as thats the uniform I was wearing when I met him. Lol. We have had our hellish moments and are greater then great moments. But in the end hes still the one I want to curl up on the couch with and watch shows weve both seen hundreds of times. As we like to say " Id rather fight with you then be without you" And I still feel the same way to this day. cant wait till its out 6th wedding aniversary .

I am no longer attending classes at Empire at the moment. Its not because I just wanted to give up. No nothing like that. Ever since I was little I wanted to me in beauty but never really wanted to do the hair aspect of it. Nail have always been my main point of view. When I started the WHOLE cosmo course I started it for two reasons. Yes I didnt really want to go into it because of the hair but I did because that course accepted Finacle Aide and it was starting right away. I did not just wait for the nail course because well . I knew I was not going ot be able to get a loan for it since I was not working and they did not accept Aide since it is only 2 month course. Well back at the start of the month I just did not want to go anymore. The more I was there and had to mess with hair the more I was starting to hate it. Hate the people. The school. Everything. So I made the choice for me. My family. And our future. I withdrew from the course. I made it clear that when I get the money up I will be back for the nail course and that is just what Im going to do. For right now I am slowly getting into Job hunting. Theres a couple ads on craigslist Im going to fallow up on and see where it leads me. I cant wait to start working and paying off the little Aide I have to pay back . But just the thoughs of not being home to put my kids to bed is whats stoping me. But I know I will get over it. I am a adult and do what I must. And plus if I start working we can get cable back.... Man I miss it.

Things are going good right now. : Knock on wood: Me and hubby bear are looking forward to the same things and have the same goals in mind. We support each other fully and make it a point to spend time together when we both are in the mood for it. It has taken us a long time but we are finally at a great point in our relationship.

The boys are doing good. Cpt.Know it all is doing great in school. Got his report card this past week and he did great on almost everything . Think the only real thing they noted was how he needs to take reponsibility for his actions. Lol nothing we didnt already know. Little man is doing great. He is back in the IU21program. 3 days a week for 5 hours each day. He is always much calmer when he is home and it gives Mommy some alone time. I love alone time. Finally get to get some things done around the house . Both boys are loving the nice weather. Not loving the 90 degrees but still better then snow in my book. Not sure what else to write. But I promise to keep up with this ALOT better then what I have been . Might not be what anyone wants to read but from now on . nothings off limits.

Got some horriable and great news within the last couple days. My step cuz broke her arm. I sall a Picture and OMG I could bearly look at it without gagging. I felt so bad for her. She is in my prayers and I know her family is there to help her. I will be getting a card out to her to let her know were thinking about her even thought my uncle my have to remind her who I am. Thats the horriable news. Now the great news. My uncle is getting a book published. I have only heard about this trew my mom but OMG IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM!!!! I cannot wait to get me a copy . Most likely more then one knowing what happends to books in my home with my children. I know this is something hes been waiting for for years and its finally happening. And I couldnt be more happy for him if I tried. even thought Im gonna still try to get my painting done. :)

Come one come all... Alittle help needed

2009-03-11T17:33:00.000-04:00

HELP HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok so in the same form of asking for help for school.
Im doing it again.
Our school is sending everyone to a huge compition/Expo in Hershey Pa June 7-8.
Anyone that wants to go has to get the money raised befor the 30th.
Thats 400 DOLLARS in 3 weeks.
This money goes to our room. Food.The shows. Transportation( Since where taking busses down together). They are closing down the entire park for 5 hours for the entire Empire .( thats just a plus side to it ) Everything is going to a great thing to help me in my Work Field.The shows are suppose to be some of the best around And there is no telling the types of things i could learn from them that I could not from my normal class. We are doing fundraising!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALSO We are selling BLUE MOUNTAIN CANDLES!!!!! These candles are selling for 12$. If anyone has ever had one of these candles they know that is a great price. I bought one 2 years ago and still use it to this day. Of course I will be buying more. $4 of the price is going towards our trip money and the rest is for the candle. If anyone would like to see the order form . Yes thats right you do not need to live here to order them. I Can scan the page that shows every scent they offer along with the order part and print it out when you return it to me. It will take me alittle bit longer to get the candle to you due to having to ship it but I will make sure you get it. !!!! ALSO !!!! For anyone that might be intrested. I have a form to get sponserd. The form is for anyone, Either Friends , family , or Business. can order. Depending on the price you pay you can get a space of advertizing. This is a great thing to have for family/friends and corporate alike. CORPORATE-You advertising dollars will not only support the students from this school, They will also bring you the fallowing benefits!!!! -Every empire education group student will want to see the program. That is well over 10,000 pairs of eyes.-Programs will be given to every person attending the event. More then 5,000 copies will be printed and circulated to our students, Their friends, Family members and supporting business in attendance at the Hershey Event.-The program will be designed in a regional sections. Your potential customers will not have to look hard to see who from your area supported our students.-The program will be available in the lobby of every EEG school following the event. All of our walk-in clients will be able to look through it. What a great way to bring business to your door by Utilizing "Mention this and receive the fallowing" Coupons! -If you purcharse a quarter-page advertisement or greater , We will lock you in at the price for all future event programs that you choose to support. FRIENDS AND FAMILY- You are welcome to place "Good Luck and Best Wishes" Supporting advertisements on behalf of your favorite competitor in this program at significantly reduced prices. Everyone attenting the even will be given a copy. What a great way to support your friend or family member in print and create a wonderful souvenir! Yes I wrote that word for word out of the advertisement. Only the sponsor part. If anyone would like to help out please let me know. Every single one helps in the biggest way. Thank you soo much for taking the time to read all of this.
COME ONE COME ALL!!!!!As most of you know. I have been attending classes at Empire Beauty School. I have talked with many of you befor about having you come in when the time is right. Well within the next couple months I will be moving to the pretty soon i will start the 360 program and I will need 5 people for hair cuts, 5 people for Color or highlights, and 5 people for perms or chemical relaxers. If anyone is intersted please let me know ASAP, and i will give you more information about the dates and times.BTW ITS FREE ALSO!!! I need to start building Clientell ... If anyone is intrested . If you would not like to get one of the other offerd above. I have 50% off cards . Yes that means anything offerd at the school 50% off the already really cheap prices. All you have to do is give me your Address and name . And the card will be sent out to you soon. Let me know

Well Well Well..... There you are

2009-02-06T12:26:00.000-05:00

Well I know its been awhile since I last wrote. But anyone that reads my moms blog knows Ive been moving into my own home. To finally be in our own home is such a great thing. Yes, Of course I miss those little moments from living with my parents but theres something much greater about finally being in your own place, your own rules, It being Yours. I dont know about yall but Its a great feeling. Life has been pretty intresting. Not in a bad way in the least thought which is always a good thing. I finally have a moment to myself because for the first time in months my son is actually napping when I put him down for one. Alright I know people are like "What ! You still put him down for naps at almost 5" And my awnser is always Yes! If anyone knows or has been around my son for longer then ten mins they understand with how much running he does all day I need time to myself along with he needs time to just calm down and breath. Usally he just trashes his room But today hes actually sleeping! Yay for mommy time. Well other good news. In my school you have so many lessons you have to learn that they break it up into usally 2 or 6 week blocks.So we have alot of finals. Ive been there 2 months and already had 3 finals. Yesterday we had our final on Scalp treatments. Which FYI I thought I was going to fail Horriably. Seeing as Ive been battling the Flu for the past week so all in all in the past 2 weeks where we normally have 8 days of class Ive only gone 4 from either being sick or really bad weather. So I didnt get the information needed for the test untill the day befor!So yea completly thought I was going to fail. But I PASSED with a 85.She told me I passed and all I could say was "WHAT!?" Everyone just laughted . I think everyone in my class thought they were going to fail but all but two of us passed. I was really happy at that point. Well as you know I am a step mother. Along with being a mother. Being a parent alone is a hard job but being a Step Parent is even harder. Think I owe my stepfather some Huge THANKS! Well for the past almost 6 years I have pretty much taken on the role of mother for my step son. It didnt really bother me because I loved him and still do. Long story short. his mother was not in the picture for a really long time. For reasons we will not speak about.Back in dec, Out of the blue, She got in contact with us. Now Ill be the first to admit I have my own issues. anything other then a mother I have no problems with her at all. Me and her never got the chance to sit down and have it out or talk about anything really. Seen her in passing while picking up or droping of s.s. many years ago. Well My stepsons birthday was on the 4th. The Bio mom came down from CT.we took the boys to chuckie cheese. They loved it. she was there along with a couple thats our friends that have children as well. Everything went better then expected. After all that me and her went to go grab something to eat and really talk. I can honestly say I feel a whole lot better about everything in my life except one thing and that one thing will Not be mentoned in here. But yea I know it might not seem like alot but life has its ups and downs and goods and bads. And right now Im simply going to enjoy all the good life is giving to me and my family. Ok guess thats enought about me. Rent a center just left with the beauitful but Oh So Uncomfy couches. And when hubby gets home were going to pick up our brand new living room set and the boys will finally get off the floor and start sleeping in there brand new bunk beds. Life is good and I couldnt be happier!

Thinking/Thankful

2009-01-23T09:23:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. I know it's been alittle bit since I wrote my last one. Lifes been pretty crazy.But I have a question for everyone. How many of you actually take time out of your day and trully sit down to think about all the good things in your life? I, For one, Have a issue with always thinking about " What ifs" " Why mes" And what nots. I mean Im sitting here thinking about everything I still need to pack.And it hit me. I have a pretty good life. Here I am 23 years old and Im moving into my VERY OWN HOME! I mean yes I've lived in homes with my family. But this is my very own without anyone. Ok Let me try to say that again. This is the first time My little family is moving into our very first house. Yes its a trailor but damn. Some of them are nice. And for the price were paying it was a steal. But thats not the point of this. I mean Lately I've been down. Everything good that would be happening in my life I would first thing think of the bad things. Like Were moving into our own house. But its not in texas. Getting a nice couch. But its not the one I wanted. But then Im sitting here thinkink about this and Im like Damn. How could I be thinking all that stuff. I mean Yes . Once in awhile its ok to be down and think about the what ifs and what nots but it was beging to become a habit for me. I have a really good life. Were moving into a nice house. We have everything we need because my husband is a hardworking man that puts his family over everything and I couldnt love him more for that. Our children and My self always have what we need and most the time what we want. Everyone is in perfect health right now. And for those that know my sons history you would understand why thats such a huge issue with me. Yes Someone that at one point in my life I hated. And when I say hated I mean hated. Is coming back into my life. But they have proven to improved there life and for that my stepston is going to have a better life. At least I hope. I dont want to say it because I know the moment I do somethings going to happen to make it all go to hell. but let me just say this. Im very thankful for the luck I have has thus far. I know I usally think about the only things that could make things better . But Im going to work even harder at being thankful for how good things are already and say thankyou more offten. But I want to send a huge thankyou out to my hubby. He works day in and day out to make life better for me. This was not always the case and we have had our rought parts. But weve been together 6 years. Thats to be expected. He gets up at the buttcrack of dawn goes to work. Comes home. Watches the boys while im at school then instead of going to sleep when the boys do he stays up knowing how early he has to get up for work just to make sure i get home ok or cook me something when i get home. I honestly dont know what I would do without him. And even thought not everything is the way it should be I know even in the worst of times he still loves me and I him. So this goes out to you hunny . THANK YOU for loving me , even in the worst of times, Thank you for being a great father and a perfect provider.

As Promised.....

2009-01-10T09:34:00.001-05:00

Ok, So as promised.Here are some pictures of the new color.They are not the best pictures in the world but they were taken yesterday 'morning' , Hince on the morning part, While I was at Cpt.KnowItAll's bus stop waiting for his bus. Anyone that knows me well enough , Knows I am not a morning person. I was not feeling good. Extremly cold.And no make up. So yes. There notthe greatest in the world but oh well. Im sure when the times right Ill get some Kick ass pictures of them. But its turning into a reddish brown. Think it looks pretty good. Not sure if ill change it befor I get the completly new style or not. That is still yet to be determaned.
This ones of me inside and much harder to tell the hair color. But I figured might as well try to put it on here. I think when I get some free money, Which will probly be never, Im going to have to try to get like Photoshop or something like that. But once again. Very tired. Very cold. And no make up. Me in all my glory lol so to speak.

ok so here something I was woundering. Why is it on a full moon EVERYONE is 1000% insane?I mean comon. Dont we have controll over how we act? Ok so maybe not everyone does but most of us should. Yesterday was insane I think.People were rude and cranky all around. Ok get this. Me and hubby had to do food shopping. Not that strange right? Well we knew it would such because both of us were tired and cranky to begin with. Now were the type of people that we can handle one or the other but with both of us we already knew be would bicker. Surprisingly we didnt that much. Think the tiredness overpowerd it. But yea so of course hubby's hungry so befor anything else we have to go eat. Think in the end Im greatful he demanded food first. The night coulda gone alot worse if we didnt eat. Maybe we have low blood sugar or something stupid like that. So hubby ask me and I say I dont care where we go. Then he ask Cpt.K.I.A. And it was decided to go to DENNYS! Haha shoulda seen the face that boy had on him when he awnserd.It was priceless.But I dont mind Dennys. Like it actually. Everytime we go there we request this certain woman. Ok let me explain about her. This woman is the most sweethearted woman I have probly met since being up in pa. Well maybe she ranks right under a couple other people but still. She has been waiting on hubby pretty much all of his life. I dont think theres ever been a time weve gone in there and she had been rude or mean or messed up our order. We enjoy going in there and seeing her. Well we go in and right off the get go this other woman thats always upset that we request "D" started to trow a fit saying " They cant request people and yada yada yada . We were like " What? We cant request anymore?" How stupid is that, That you cant go into a place. That you go all the time and like every other time . Request the waitress YOU, The customer , want. And just because "D" was standing by us as this was going down the other one figured she was already claming us. How stupid is that. Theres been times befor where we went in and didnt have her even though she was there. Shes not greedy. She understand things happen. Well the other one went and cryed to the manger. Which I think hes the stupidest man alive. For other reasons I cant really explain right now. But she got sent home all for the fact the other one. Who btw was on break ! and still causing problems. She got in trouble because the other woman has a stick somewhere and WE asked for her. We were half tempted to just leave. We got an alright waitress. Shes no "D" but she wasnt too bad. Well when we were done we found out that " D" was going to have to wait almost 6 hours befor her husband would be able to pick her up after he got off of work. Well comon people hubbys known her all his life. We wernt going to just leave knowing she had to sit in there with the people that forced her to leave early.This woman had worked there 23 yrs to be treated like she was such a bad person because , We. The customers, Requested her? Comon .What is wrong with people these days. We anyways were in the car taking her to her house andwe get on the subject of my brother in law. I have some personal isuess with him. and somehow us talking about him got us talking about something me and momma had just been talking about hours befor hand. My brother in law has tons of pircings. Think he has more then me. But something was said about how brother-in-law looks and how hes all about god. and it got me thinking. Why do people with Pircings and tattoos get looked down at like were bad people. I mean I have 5 tats and 9 pircings . I dont go to church because I cant handle large crowds of people I dont know. And I feel like in chruch people like to judge. But does that mean Im the devil? No . I believe in god. Angels. Spirts. The whole bit.I dont really fall under one or the under for religion. I mean , Yes I was raised baptist christian. But to me I dont feel like I should be forced to pray when I want.I am not a bad person for that. I just feel like I should be able to do it when I want to. I dont down any others outlooks on it so I dont accept others to speak badly on mine. I mean its not like Im goign around saying " Devil this and devil that" Anyways back on track... which was.... ermm..... oh yea... Full moon. Well after we took"D" home we made our way to walmart. OMG whos stupid idea was it to go to walmart on a full moon on the day befor its stupose to be a snow storm. Yea that would be mine. Hubby wanted to go today but I knew it would be bad out because my knee had been killing me. its snowing as I am typing this btw. but yea I think when we got done there I was ready to kill someone. Think we waited in like longer then we were actually shopping. God people were rude. Cant count the amount of time people just pushed into us or walked infront of us then got even ruderd with us when I would say something. SORRY for trying to walk! Gah ok sorry Im seeing this turning into as huge groan blog so Im going to end it here. So long. Farewell....

~~Always....Dream~~

Alrighty then......

2009-01-09T00:39:00.000-05:00

This is my step-son....well be calling him Cpt.KnowItAll lol I Love him.
This is my baby boy. Well just call him " Sowwy"

This is me and my hubby on our 1 yea wedding aniversary weekend. Waiting to see Reba and Kelly Clarkson in concert..... Love you baby. Yes he usally has red checks.Dont ask.

This is the new cut.... Gotta get use to it

So how bout we get this night started with another one right off the back. Figured everyone would like to know some more about me then just the main, boring details everyone else gets to hear about day in and day out. Alright so some little things. I recently cut my hair .... Saterday actually .... So Now its short. And when I say short and you look at the picture and go * Huh? * Yes to me thats short. I usally dont go very short for the simple reason. CANT FIND A GOOD CUT! But heres the reason I got it like that. I have this picture of a style I plan to get here very soon. Cut , Color ,Highlights.... The whole bit. And for me to do that.It was going to be a drastic change for me. Well I needed a trim anyways so figured ..... "Hey might as well get it cut simular to how Im goign to do it to see if itll work. Looks like crap... oh well itll grow back" Yes thats pretty much how I think about everything now a days. well turns out I can pull it off. Well yea I tryed to call Hubby to tell him , more of a warning, but of course he didnt awnser his phone. So I guess we can say when I got home he got a surprise. Ok well now the other part of why Im telling you this story. If you read in my "Opening blog" you sall that I am currently attending classes at Empire Beauty School. Which btw . Much better then the other choices around here.Back to the subject. We had gotten done with the mini final and our roller set that we had planed for the day ( FYI MRS.LITZ PLEASE NEVER LEAVE AGAIN!!!!) so our sub. Which btw Shouldnt be teaching. But she gave us free time. Yes..... Freshman girls +Free time + Hair color= Intresting experiance.only two of us dyed.... opps sorry not allowed to say dyed anymore... thats not Jargon. But anyways Only two of us Colored our hair. Me and Sam. I think it came out really cute. Mine is this Goldeny brown color. I wasnt able to get a good picture of it but hopefully in a day or two I will have one. But yea. So I think we should never be given free time in class anymore because god only knows what well do to each other next time. Thats right people. Im going to be learning how to cut peoples hair soon....* Insert scream and running away here* But its all good. Hubbys supportive. Think he misses having me home at night......But I know when were around each other too much it usally ends up with us fighting. But I enjoy getting out of the house. Dont get me wrong. I love love love being a stay at home mommy. But Damn..... sometimes you just need some YOU time. Time where you can get out of the house without the kids and have some Grown-up time. I look forward , most the time , to going to class. I get along with everyone there and have a GREAT teacher. Yes Im not always up for what were learning and Ill be the first to admit I get very frustrated when I cant get something to go perfect. But I love it. I love learning new things. And btw everyone. Ive wanted to go into cosmo for the past ten years. Even took some classes at one time in my life.Idk. Think maybe Im just really excited about it because its still new to me. like a new toy or something. I do have to admit I miss putting the boys to bed every night. But I get the mornings and the nights friday-sunday nights. So I think I, as a hard working mommy and wife deserve to have these 4 hour a night 4 nights a week to myself. Anyone think elseways? Ok im going to make a promise to myself and everyone else that actually reads this that Im not going to use this site for moaning and groaning about my life. Cant promise Ill never do it because yea... everyone knows thats not going to happen. but I am going to use this as a place for me to be me. If Im feel giddy one day youll get giddy if im pissed off the next youll get a bitchy Nikki. Is that ok with everyone? I sure do home so because sooner or later I would like some readers that would be willing to give me some feedback on my crazy , insane life. Wow ok so something I was going to post about more into my life went more into school . Oh well I think once in awhile its good to talk about things that are on your mind. right? Or why else would we blog? Guess Im just really happy because I passed my mini final with a 80%. Granted there was only 10 questions. But still. I think freaking 80 is great. Now I just really need to study for my final thats in two weeks. Ok people I know your thinking. Cosmo? Studing? Yes you couldnt believe how much chemisty and what nots in this stuff but be glad Im learning it. You wouldnt want to go to get your hair done one day and have the stylist not have clue what she was talking about right?Thats what I thought. Alright every guess Ill let everyone get some sleep. Im probly gonna be up or awhile because my knee is killing me... More then likely gonna get bad weather tomorrow or saterday... well guess it is tomorrow since its 1 in the moring. Oh yea FYI To me its never tomorrow untill I wake up. So yea to me its still tomorrow . lol alright GoodNight everyone.

~~Always....Dream~~

The first of many......

2009-01-09T00:18:00.000-05:00

Now now now... I know what everyones thinking... Not another opening blog. Well guess what people . Thats exactally what this is. I mean how on earth are you suppose to have as blog without having a opening one. Yes I know. Everyone hates writing them. Trust me. This isnt one of my foundest things to do in the world. But Im feeling that if you're going to be reading about my life along with my friends and family.Then maybe, Just Maybe, you should know some things about me. But I'll make it easy on myself and everyone out there. Ill be doing a copy and paste from Myspace.... Yes I have a dread'd Myspace*Everyone gasp here*Ok so on to the C&P with a few twikes here and there. ~I am a 23 year old female~I am a stay at home mother of a wonderful 4 year old son and my great 6 year old Stepson. ~I am currently attending classes at Empire Beauty School~ ♥I am happily married to the love of my life♥ ~Have been with my husband almost 5 years and married a little over a year. Yes ... We have out problems but in the end we always grow stronger.~I love my life and wouldn't change it for the world. ~Well just maybe to be back in Texas wouldn't hurt anything. ~I was born and raised in Texas. Live in Pa since late 2002. ~Love spending time with my friends when given the chance and love more then anything to be with my family no matter what were doing!~Dont do drugs and bearly drink when given the chance. ~I'm shy but blunt. ~I mean what I say and definitely say what I mean. ~At the end of the day I have to be able to say I did my best and treated everyone well. ~I think after I get over my shyness and people get used to my randomness. ~I am a nice person. ~But never get on my bad side. ~I would think most people would think this about me. ~But hey what do I know. ~I was born my own friend. ~If I didn't like me I couldn't run anyway. ~I am dork,there is no getting around that but you either love me or don't thats up to you to decide. ~I am a true Southern Girl at heart and always will be. ~Have 9 pircings and 5 tattoos.! Yes Im inked and pirced but I currently only wear 8 of my pircings.And the places I have tattoos at are as fallowed.... Right outter ankle. Left top foot. Both wrist. And upper back.See there not that bad.I do plan on getting more Tattoos but I really think Im done with Pircings.~I am who I am no matter if you like it or not but usally the people that take the time to get to know me usally say that I'm one of the best but if you think else wise then so be it .... ! See People that wasn't so bad. Worth the read? I know it was for me but of course it is my life and I enjoy it. Why shouldnt I. I mean if I dont enjoy it I would be a really crabby person all the time and common.... What fun would that be? Ok so now I think its time to close down this dread'd opening blog.... Might even get another one out of me befor the nights over with. Think youll be that lucky? Guess youll just have to keep reading to find out.

~~Always....Dream~~